*Chapter 17*

Auds arrived at the hospital and made her way inside, she looked at the signs to see where the Children’s Ward was, but they were all written in French so she took a guess at the word Enfant meaning Child or Children and headed in the direction of it. She came across what looked like a children's ward and went in. She walked up to the desk and suddenly realised that she didn't know Sonia's surname. The nurse behind it smiled at her and asked if she could help her. Auds smiled back and said "I'm not sure if i'm in the right place, but I’m looking for a lady who works in this hospital with sick children. I only know her first name, Sonia." The nurse smiled and pointed somewhere behind Auds. She turned round and saw Sonia sitting on a child’s bed talking to them. She turned back and said "Yes, that’s her." The nurse said "I'll tell her you're here, just have a seat." then left. Auds took a seat and looked around her. "Auds" she heard. She looked round and saw Sonia standing there, she stood up and hugged her. "Hey Sonia, sorry for just turning up, but I need to talk to you about something important." Sonia went pale and said "Seb, please god, nothings happened to him has it?" Auds looked around and said "I'd rather talk in private, do you have somewhere we can talk?" Sonia nodded and led her into an empty room shutting the door behind her. "Please Auds, tell me whats happened to Seb." she said. Auds shook her head and said "Seb's alright Sonia, physically anyway. None of the guys know i'm here, they think i'm in London at a meeting with Simon. But i needed to talk to you about Seb. When you talk to him on the phone, how does he sound?" Sonia looked confused and said "He sounds fine, the way he always is, happy and making jokes and flirting." she blushed then. "Wait, you said he was fine physically, Auds, what did you mean?"

Auds sighed and ran a hand through her hair then said "He would kill me if he knew i was here. He came to me last week, the day after we had all arrived in America and asked to talk to me. He told me that he wasn't happy anymore, being part of IL Divo." she stopped when she saw the look on Sonia's face. "But, he loves it all, the singing, the fans, the other guys, he could never hate that." she said. "Its what he lives for." she added. Auds shook her head. "Not anymore, he's withdrawn himself so far away from everything and everyone, and he's so quiet, he only comes out of his hotel room when he has to for work, he won't talk to the guys and they don't know what’s going on and its affecting them as well, especially Urs, because i know and won't tell him." She looked down at the floor then. Sonia sat down on the bed behind her and tried to take all that in. "Has he said why he's not happy? she asked. Auds nodded and looking at Sonia said "Its you. He loves you so much that he can't cope anymore with all the travelling and time away from you. He wouldn't let you go to the airport with him last week because he didn't want you to see him crying. He had started before he had even got in the taxi at your place." She saw the same look in Sonia's eyes then that she saw in Seb’s eyes daily and she said "He's ready to give up his whole career and walk out on the guys to be with you all the time." Sonia let the tears start falling and said "He can't do that, singing is his life, IL Divo is his life, its his dream job, he's told me that so many times."

Auds looked out the window of the room and saw the children in the ward. this would be the hard part. She turned to look at Sonia and said "How would you feel about taking some time off and coming to travel with us for a while? It would mean so much to Seb and if i'm being honest, other than him walking out, its the only thing that will make him happy again." Sonia got off the bed and joined Auds at the window and looking through it said "There has only ever been two things in my life that i have loved as much as the other. That’s been Seb and this place. I know what you're really asking Auds, you don't want me to just take time off, do you?" Auds looked at her and said "No, but i also know that its a big decision to come to, I made it when I thought i was going to lose Urs and the one thing that i had loved even more than him had been my job, but you know all this because you were there when it all happened." Sonia nodded then said "This isn't something I can just say yes to without a lot of thinking about." "I understand that, i'm going to be here for a couple of days, but i shall leave you alone and let you come to the decision by yourself." Sonia smiled gratefully and said "Where are you staying? " Auds laughed and said "Nowhere yet, i only booked the flight itself a few hours ago. I'll just go and find the nearest hotel and book in there. I'll give you my mobile number and you can let me know when you've made your decision."
Sonia shook her head and said "You can stay with me, i have a spare room, but you'll practically have the place to yourself as i'm usually always here anyway." she scribbled her address down on a bit of paper and handed her the keys then said "Get yourself a taxi there and i'll see you later, i have to finish my shift. And i'm not going to let you say no." when she saw Auds about to protest." Auds smiled and said Thank you Sonia." and hugged her. She went to leave when Sonia said "Oh, if the phone rings, don't answer it, it might be Seb and he'll be wondering why you're answering my phone." Auds grinned and said "Okay."

Sonia arrived back at her house a couple of hours later and walked in and shouted out "Auds" She walked into the lounge to find Auds on her phone. She put a hand to her mouth then mouthed sorry to her. Auds shook her head and then said "Urs, i have to go...No, i don't know when i will be back...another couple of days...you phone Simon and tell him that then...Oh don't be such a..."she stopped and took a deep breath then said "Goodbye Urs." and hung up. Sonia looked at her and said "That didn't sound too good, are you and Urs having problems?" Auds sighed and said "He's just reacting badly to the fact that i won't tell him whats wrong with Seb. He gets mad then he apologises, then gets mad again and apologises. He punched a wall when i told him i was going to London." She rubbed her forehead and said "To be honest, he's acting like a child and i have more important things to worry about at the moment." Sonia looked at her and said "Seb?" Auds nodded. "But aren't you worried that he will go and ask Simon whatever it is he said?" Auds laughed and said "He would never dare say what he just said to Simon, besides, Simon is in on this, he knows i'm here!!" She smiled at Sonia then and said "Let's not talk about the guys just now, how did the rest of your shift go?" "How about I make us some dinner and we can talk after?" said Sonia.

*A couple of hours later*

The girls had eaten dinner and were on their second bottle of red wine and were quite merry. They had talked about everything except their respective men. Sonia's phone rang then and she picked it up, still laughing at something Auds had just said. "Hello." she said. "Hey baby," she heard from the voice on the other side. A big grin came over her face and she said "Sebby, how are you my darling?" then she said "Yeah, i've had a drink, i'm at home with A..." Auds shook her head quickly and put a finger over her lips. "Adrianna from work." Sonia signalled to Auds to be silent and switched the phone to speakerphone so she could hear Seb as well. Auds was amazed at the difference in him, he sounded just like he had before all this started. When Sonia hung up she looked at Auds and said "He sounded fine to me." Auds shook her head and said "I'm not lying to you Sonia, he's just trying not to let you know how he's feeling." Sonia looked at Auds and said "I know you're not, you wouldn't be here if you were. I just don't think i'll actually believe it if i don't see or hear it for myself." Auds thought for a moment then pulled out her phone and said "we'll just do the same thing again, but i don't have speakerphone, so you'll have to listen into the earpiece." Sonia agreed and Auds dialled Seb's number and waited for him to pick up. When he did she said "Hey Seb, its Auds, I'm just checking to se how you are?" "I'm fine Auds." "Seb, you don't need to put on your act with me, how are you really feeling?" They heard him sigh then his voice changed and he said "Its getting harder to pretend i'm happy when i'm not, I don't know how much longer i can do it." Auds looked over at Sonia who had a hand over her mouth to stop herself from saying anything. "Seb, please go and talk to the guys about this or Steve, don't keep it bottled up anymore." "I'm not telling anyone else Auds, I'm coping with it in my own way." Auds frowned and said "Please tell me you're not still drinking?" She could see Sonia's eyes widen as he said "I can't get through the day without it, it blocks all the pain out." Sonia stood up and walked away. "Listen Seb, i've got to go, but don't do anything til i get back, i'll be back soon." then she hung up. She went to find Sonia who was in her bedroom looking at a photo of her and Seb. She turned as she heard Auds in the doorway and said "This was taken just after he had gotten into the group, i thought he would be like that forever." Auds sat down beside her and said "So did he, but i think his love for you overtook his love for the group." Sonia put the picture down and said "I'm going to go to bed now Auds, I have to think about this." Auds nodded and said "Sure, I'll see you in the morning then." and left her alone.

Auds woke up the next day to find herself alone. There was a note on the kitchen table with her name on it, so she picked it up and read it.

Auds,
Just popped into work for something, won't be long. Help yourself to breakfast. Sonia xx

She put it back down and went for a shower. She had just sat down with a coffee when Sonia arrived back. She sat down beside her and said "I could do with one of them." then she looked at Auds and said "What does it feel like?" Auds stared at her and said "What does what feel like?" "Living out of a suitcase, in hotel rooms, never being in one place for too long?" said Sonia. Auds thought about it for a minute then said "I don't really know, you just kind of get used to it as it becomes part of your daily routine." Sonia nodded and said "So, it won't take me too long to settle in then?" Auds shook her head and said "No, i would say you would be..." then stopped as she realised what Sonia had just said. "You mean you're going to come back with me?" she asked. Sonia grinned and said "Yeah, hearing how bad he sounded last night made me realise how much i miss being with him all the time as well, I think its probably why i spent so much time at the hospital." Auds couldn't keep the smile of her face. She said "Is that why you went there? How did they take it?" "I'm not sure they understood why i'm doing it, but they accepted my decision and am letting me go straight away." She said. She looked at Auds then and said "You'll have to help me decide what to take with me, how much do you have?" Auds grinned and said "I have 1 bag and 1 case, but Urs usually carries the bag for me" Sonia laughed. "I also phoned and got us two seats back to America." Auds smiled and said "At last i can tell Urs the truth and make him see what an idiot he has been!!" Sonia nodded and then she went to start packing her stuff.