Chapter 30: A walk in the park

The rest of the week it seemed like Urs was trying to avoid her. Even when she started to come home earlier and left for work later, she didn't see him. It looked like he was giving her the space she asked for.
When it was weekend again, she felt neglected and the irritation started again.

On Saturday morning the sun was shinning and Vicky wanted to make the most of it. She wrote a note and put it against a pot of fresh coffee. After that she took one of the rubber balls, put Max on the leash and left the house.
Half an hour later he found her in the park down the road.

The coffee got him out of bed and when he could think straight again, he read Vickys note. He had hoped that if he stayed away for a couple of days, she'd come around. He smiled when he walked upstairs to get changed.

In the park she didn't see him coming. Vicky laughed loudly when Max tried to brake in the mud. They were both covered with mud and snow but neither of them seemed to care. When Vicky whistled, he ran to her with the ball in his mouth, but when she tried to take it, he jumped away. "Max! Come here! You crazy dog!" she yelled. "Come on! I can't throw it away when you don't give it back." The dog slowly approached her but when she bent down, he jumped away again. The next moment he saw Urs and ran to him. Max stopped in front off his boss and put the ball at his feet. Approvingly Urs caressed him over his wet fur. "Good dog."
"Trader." Vicky smiled and walked to him. "I had to run after him for miles before he let me throw the ball away again."
Her nose and cheeks were red because of the cold. When she kneeled down to cuddle the dog, he thought she never looked sexier than she did now.

"Down boy." he said more to himself then to the dog when he jumped up.
"It's a beautiful day eh?"
"Absolutely." He couldn't keep his eyes from her.
"Well, Max gave you the ball so you can throw it."
He picked up the ball and gave it to her. "Go ahead."
She threw the ball and it was obvious to see that she spend some time on the baseball fields when she was a kid.
"Nice throw."
When she kept smiling, he decided to tease her a little. "Thank god you don't throw like a girl."
"I was three times pitcher of the year in junior competition." she said before running after the dog again.

And they were friends again. He ignored that Vicky looked suspiciously at him every now and than. They took turns in throwing the ball and when they got tired and hungry, they returned home. After they had lunch, they went separate ways. Vicky wanted to work out her plans for the house and Urs had to look into some files. But not before they causally said they would eat around 7h. A large pizza was delivered with meat on one side and vegetables on the other. She looked critical at his part with olives, tomatoes and mushrooms, but didnt say a thing.

Chapter 31: Visitors

The next morning they took Max for a walk around the lake, while they casually talked about their plans for the week.

When Faith and Deborah arrived that afternoon, Urs greeted them warmly and escaped to his suite. Vicky gave them a tour and he could hear them laugh. To his amazement he found it charming in stead of bothering.
After a while there was a knock on his door.

"I'm sorry to disturb you." Vicky said. "But do we have a ladder?"
"Where do you need that for?"
"I showed the girls the hatch to the attic and we are curious to see what's up there." She shrugged a little shy. "I think Debby hopes to find a hidden treasure."
He leaned back in his chair and stretched out. "Come on. Admit it. So do you."
She laughed. "You never know what you can find if you don't look."
"Exactly."
When he looked at her, he saw her blushing.
"There is a small ladder behind the kitchen door."

He chuckled when she quickly walked out and turned his attention back to the papers on his desk. But when he didn't hear them in the hall anymore and heard them talking above his head, he couldn't pretend it didn't interest him and he went to look for them.

The stairs to the attic looked old and decayed but he decided to risk it anyway. He hoped that he wouldn't break his neck and started to climb up. When he put his head through the ceiling, he sneezed immediately. Clouds of dust swirled up while the girls where enthusiastically going through boxes.

Vicky, who was sitting on her knees and was looking in a box with clothing from the fifties, looked up and saw Urs staring at her. He had the expression of a doctor in an institution who asks himself if it is safe to come near the crazy patients.
"Nothing will happen to you. Just don't stay stock-still for too long or Faith could attack you."
"Hey!" Faith appeared from behind a stack of round boxes with a green Jackie O. hat on her head. "Unless he's a hatbox, he's not in danger."

Urs climbed on the attic and came towards Vicky.
"Fashionable!"
"Yes. Look at this. They are terrible." She held up an orange sweater with yellow dots.
He kneeled next to her, looked at the next sweater and grimaced. "Did you find any hidden treasures yet?"
"Not really." She smiled before she sneezed. Two seconds later he did the same. "Faith is crazy about the hats, but the rest seem to be receipts from years ago. Not very interesting for us who hoped to find old ball gowns or love letters."
"Too bad."

When she started to get up and he extended his hand to help her, she accepted it. "I guess great-aunt Victoria was not the type for love letters."
"Are you?"
He was still holding her hand and she didn't feel the need to pull it back. "I don't know. I never had a love letter from anybody."
Although her nieces were just a couple of metres away, it felt like she was alone with him. She thought about his notes in her drawer and shrugged. "But I guess I would be."
"Interesting." His thumb gently stroked her hand until he suddenly dropped it and walked away. "Time for lunch, ladies. What would you like?"
While her nieces gave their order, Vicky just stared at him. 'Interesting'?
The guy started a conversation about love letters, finds it interesting that she probably was a love-letter-type and quietly walks away thinking about food?
He was trying to make her crazy.

Suddenly Debby appeared next to her with a silver, almost two metres high birdcage. "Look at this! Isn't it beautiful?"
"Beautiful." Vicky nodded. "Let's try to get it downstairs. Maybe we can tidy it."
She banned all her thoughts about love letters and had a cosy afternoon with her nieces. When it started to get dark outside, they all took a shower. Each of them in another bedroom. The three of them had the same size, so Vicky gave them clothes to wear for dinner at her fathers. Of course Urs was going with them.

When they got back home, he followed Vicky upstairs and walked pass her to his bedroom. He waited at the door for a second, smiled at her and wished her a goodnight.
He closed the door behind him. Vicky had the feeling she missed something. She got in bed and dreamed about Elisabeth Benning and Mister Darcy, the characters from Pride and Prejudice.

When she woke up the next morning, she told herself not to read those novels again. She also decided to be grateful for the friendship she had with Urs and to leave it like that.

Chapter 32: Bathing time

Vicky got back in the daily routine of long hours at work and once in a while dinner with Urs at home. Sometimes they didn't see each other because of their busy schedules, but they had the habit to leave notes for each other. When he knew he had to work late he would ask her to walk the dog. She let him decide whether to hire a comedy or an action movie.

And the whole time, Urs didn't make a move on her. Not even when they fell asleep on the couch during a movie. One of them woke the other up and they walked upstairs together. Under their skin, tension was still burning, but there was nothing that showed her that he was aware of it.
Vicky told herself to be happy. He did what she asked him to and it was probably for the best that they didn't sleep together because at the end of the year it would be over anyway.
And then she scowled because she didn't believe a word from what she said.

It stayed warm for the time of the year. After 2 weekends without snow, Vicky decided to plant flower bulbs in the garden. She bought the whole supply of dahlias and tulips from the garden centre when she drove home on Friday. The rest of the evening she made a detailed plan of where to put the flowers. By midnight she threw away her pencil, crumbled the paper and admitted she was only doing this because otherwise she would be listening if Urs was coming home. She finally fell asleep, still listening.

The next morning she stayed in bed until ten in the morning. She got up when she heard Urs and Max leave the house and went to the garden. She knew there was a small shed in the back where she probably could find the tools she needed.

When she walked around the house, she almost slipped in a large pool of mud. In the middle of it was a blue tub with a soaped Max in it. He barked happily when he saw her. Urs was sitting giving his back to her, without his sweater, so she took a good look at his beautiful muscled upper body.
'Don't look at him like that. You've already seen it!'

"Time for the weekly bath?"
With his hand above his eyes for the sun, he turned around. "You want to join us?"
"No thanks!"
It was a beautiful day for the end of April, but it wasn't that hot for doing something like that. When she saw Urs looking at the garden hose in his hand, she knew he was getting ideas. "Don't you dare!"
"Don't you dare what?" He squeezed the hose and the next moment a drop of ice cold water landed in front of her feet. "Oops. My hand slipped."
"Bühler, I swear..." She ran away screaming when he pointed the hose at her back and wetted her pants. She took a large sponge out of the tub and threw it at his chest, but then she was out of ammunitions and he had the garden hose. Half a minute later she was soaking wet. Her clothes stuck to her body and she looked angrily at him.

He went to her and wiped away the water drops from her nose with his finger. He dropped his gaze. "I never had my own wet t-shirt competition." He kneeled down to stroke the dog and looked up to her with his eyes half closed. "You better go in and put on some dry clothes before you catch a cold." Urs stood up again and walked back to the tub.

Her mouth dropped open. She waited until she was inside before she let out a scream of frustration. "Do I have to hit him on the head?" Her voice echoed through the empty house. She decided to take things into her own hands. Nobody could blame her for it. There are limits to what a woman can take!

Chapter 33: A midnight walk

The sound echoed through the silent house when Vicky turned the handle of Urs' room. She nervously opened the door and sneaked in. Moonlight fell through the window on the bed.
Urs was on his stomach, the sheets low on his hips. One hand under a pillow, the other stretched out.
When she carefully walked to the bed, she looked at him. He was breathing slow and regularly. In his sleep his features looked softer. She hopped from one foot on the other. She sighed and dropped her shoulders. When she looked at the clock she saw it was 5 minutes past midnight.

She couldn't do it. Vicky turned around and wanted to leave, when a hand grabbed her wrist.
"Where are you going?" His voice sounded sleepy, but his eyes were wide open and he looked firmly at her. She was well aware of every inch of naked skin. She only wore boxershorts and a t-shirt. She didn't know what to say.
"Did you just come by to say 'hi'?" She could here in his voice that he would let her go, if she said yes.
Suddenly it was easy to find the right words. She walked closer to the bed and said "You once brought it to my attention, Mister Bühler, that we are married."

A small tug at her arm was enough to make her fall on the bed. When she fell forward, he rolled on his back and she landed on top of him. She slowly leaned in and let her lips caress his face. Her tongue gently followed the outline of his mouth. He put his arms around her waist, pulled her closer and rolled over. She was underneath him now.
"I thought you would never come." he said huskily.
"I wasn't sure anymore if you wanted me to come."

Her hands caressed his muscled back, his waist and hips. When her fingers went even lower, she only felt naked skin. 'Halleluja! The guy slept in the nude!'
"Not sure?" He took her by her wrists and put her hands above her head. She lay still and put full attention to what he said. To her amazement he laughed. "Vicky. Sweetie. Next month I'm gonna get a huge waterbill because of all the cold showers I took!"
"You are awfully clean lately." she said while she tried to free herself. The only thing she could think of was that he wasn't kissing her. She couldn't stand it anymore. She put her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

He let go of her wrists, took the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head in one swift move.
"You can still end this." His eyes, dark of passion, looked at her. He put his hand on her stomach and gently caressed it. "If you say it isn't right for you, I'll stop. But I'm warning you..." he mumbled. He let his tongue glide over her collarbone, her neck, her chest,... "If you do that, I'll probably jump out of the window."

She took his head between her hands and pulled him towards her. "It's right for me. I long for you. I want you. Now!"
He took off her boxers and let his hands glide up.
"Bühler!"
"You only call me like that when you're impatient." He gathered her in his arms and made love to her.


When Vicky woke up, it was still dark outside. Urs was on his stomach next to her, with one arm over her waist and his face buried in his pillow. She looked at the clock. Just three hours ago she came in here. Three hours that had changed so much.
She looked at her lover, her husband, and wished that she could see his face. Suddenly it felt like he was a complete stranger. A stranger she slept with and that she was married to.

Before she could change her mind, before she could kiss his shoulder or caress his hair until he woke up, she shove away his arm and got up. She silently left his room and went back to her own. She climbed in bed and nuzzled under the sheets. But it took her a long time to fall asleep.

Chapter 34: The morning after

The next morning Vicky didn't feel at ease. She wondered if she made things worse by leaving in the middle of the night. Although her heart told her it was the right thing to do, she started doubting.
What if she had stayed awake? She didn't know what would have been worse. Waking up in an atmosphere of coldness because Urs already got up or was emotional out, or waking up in an atmosphere of tenderness, like husband and wife who loved eachother and who would make love the whole day.
But it was Monday morning and the real world was waiting. They were husband and wife but they didnt love eachother.

After breakfast, Vicky lingered in the kitchen because she didn't want to leave without seeing Urs. When she heard his footsteps, she poured a cup of coffee. She stepped back when he walked in and pointed at the cup because she knew he wasnt in the mood to talk before he had coffee.
He drunk the cup and poured another one. And then he looked at her. She saw in his eyes what he wanted to ask.
"I have a meeting with an important client." She realised it was the first time he saw her wearing something else than jeans. He was probably used to women who wore these outfits the whole time. The black suit had cost a fortune, but it was worth it. The clients seem to appreciate her wearing this when she did a presentation.
"I didn't think you would leave." he said calmly.

She envied his calmness because it was a great effort for her to tell him why. "I couldn't stay. Coming to see you was the right thing. For me. For us... I hope. But staying till morning wouldn't have been right." She knew it wasn't an explanation but she hoped it was good enough for him.
"Can you tell me why?"
"Look, if we would have a normal relationship, everything would be done in some kind of routine." She was silent for a second. "Some days we would see eachother, other days we wouldn't. Right?"
He nodded slowly as if he was waiting where this would lead to.
"Maybe you stayed with me one night and I would stay with you the other."
"And I would want you stay till morning every time."

She sighed. There was only one more thing she could tell him. The truth.
"You may have carried me over the threshold, Urs, but I'm not gonna behave as your wife. That I slept with you doesn't mean we are going to share a bed and a bathroom."
She held her breath and waited for his reaction.

Urs put down his cup, walked towards her and stayed still in front of her. He gently cupped her face and kissed her on the lips before he looked at her. "Ok."
She sighed of relief and put her arms around him, hoping to show him how gratefull she was.
A few moments later, he released himself, gave her friendly tap on the butt and pushed her towards the door. "Go on, I know you'll be home late." He winked. "But please, stop by to say hi."

She knew that she shouldn't. She succeeded in having a conversation to state that she didn't want to spend every night with him. If she was sensible, she would be reserved, sleep alone and let him see what she meant. But it was so silent when she got home and her room was so empty. And she had been thinking about him all day long.

So she forgave herself for going back to his room, this time without being sneaky. He immediately woke up and stretched his arms to her. She nuzzled on top of him and kissed him hard because she didn't want him to say anything. They made love gentle and tender.
When she lay next to him and he put his arm around her, she let him. But she didn't close her eyes and when she knew he was asleep, she left him alone and returned to her room.

Chapter 35: A little talk

The next day she took the day off, because she needed to think things through. After sitting on the couch with a cup of tea for an hour, she decided her thoughts were hopelessly lost and she got up.

Urs found her in one of the bathrooms on the first floor, where she was removing paper off the walls. When she looked up, he gave her a bottle of diet coke and a sandwich.
"Believe it or not, but I just knew you would be home early today."
"I didn't go to work. I took the day off." She saw him looking at the walls and shrugged. "Officially the house isn't mine yet, but I don't think anybody should live with such a colour."
He smiled. "You are absolutely right."
She pointed to the cans with blue paint. "I want to get sea in here." she explained.
"When you give me a minute to change, I'll help."

She couldnt say no to that offer and they worked side by side for a long time. When they took a break to get a drink, she came to the conclusion he had a reason to be home so early.
"Thanks for your help." she said. "I'm glad you were home early."
"That's because I wanted to talk to you."

She tried not to get nervous. This was going to be a difficult conversation again.
"We haven't been very careful those 2 nights, Vicky."
She couldn't deny it. She didn't say anything and stared at the ground. How could she let this happen?
"Are you taking anything?"
"Except for an aspirin now and than?" She laughed cynical. "No, it's been so long. My God, how could I be so stupid? The last thing I need is ending up as..."
"A single mother?" he finished her sentence.
"In the end I would be." When he opened his mouth, she kept talking because she didn't want to hear promises. "Look, let's not get any hasty conclusions. It's probably nothing. And if it is, than I have a problem. And it is my problem."
He came to her and took her hands. "Don't be ridiculous. If we have a problem, it will be our problem. And I want you to tell me immediately."
"Ok. But I guess I should go see my doctor."

Stress, caused by the possible pregnancy cooled things down a bit between them, but not at night. Vicky didnt think there would be anything to keep her from going to see Urs. But it was hard to look at him during the day and not to ask herself if she was putting her life upside down. Unfortunately she wasn't able to think about that.

Chapter 36: A date

When the weekend came, everything seemed to be calm again. Until Urs put her in an awkward situation.
"You want me to do what?!"
With a loud bang, the bottle of coke landed on the garden table. It was so hot the first days of May, that they decided to have a barbecue in the backyard. It had been great until now.

"I'm just asking you to come to dinner with a colleague and his wife." He took her hand and kissed it, but she didn't fall for that. "Come on. Come with me. You can tell them you're my girlfriend."
She stuck her tongue at him. "If it's better or worst than the truth, I dont know."
"Or you can tell them you're my slave."
"That's true!" The next moment his intense gaze reminded her not to get persuaded. "Besides, it's more than just dinner. It's dinner and a concert."
"It's a concert with a dinner afterwards. And I guarantee you'll love it."
"Although you know me for just a couple of months, Bühler, you should know by now that a classical concert isn't my thing." She pulled her hand back and drank her coke. "A bluesbar or a jazzclub is more like it." She smiled when she thought about it. "And there is nothing better than dancing until you sweat in a reggaeclub till morning."
"I know something to make you all sweaty and you could even call it dancing." With naughty eyes he looked at her and let his foot caress her leg.
She slapped him. "Don't distract me! I mean that I'm not the type for pearls, ****tail dresses and classical music."
"You had a suit in your closet. I'm sure you got a dress."
"That's not the point."
"You're scared." He smiled and leaned back. "I dare you."
"You must have spoken to Seb." she grumbled. "He knows I can't resist being challenged."

She knew she was going to loose this battle, but she wanted something in return.
"Ok. Concert and dinner. But you have to go with me to something I pick."
"Deal." He wasn't worried.
"A baseball game. On the open tribune."
"No problem."
"On a weekday."
"Come on Vicky. You know how busy I am..."
"And..." She saved the best for last. "You can only drink beer. At least 5 cans."
"Cans?" When he grimaced and looked sadly at the crystal wineglass, she knew she had him.
"Giving up?"
"Forget it! My stomach will survive." He raised his glass. "To new experiences."

Damn! She had to buy a dress.
Vicky always thought she knew what she was good at and that she was capable of delegating. So she always knew what to do in a crisis. So far for that theorie!!
And now she had to call Faith and ask her to go shopping.

Chapter 37: The date

The night of the concert, Vicky stood in front of her bathroom mirror, struggling with her earrings and trying to keep her balance on her high heels. Urs waited downstairs and she was late. When she finally got her earrings on, she took a step back and looked at herself. Her feet were already killing her. Faith said that if you wanted to be pretty, you had to suffer.
Hopefully it was worth it. She probably couldn't walk anymore by the end of the night.

She hardly recognised herself. She had make-up on that made her eyes look much bigger and her lips had a deep red colour. Her dress, flaming red, was draped over one shoulder. It was cut deep on the front, but even deeper on the back and showed off her legs.



She had to hurry. She took a ridiculous small purse and a silk scarf which couldn't keep her warm anyway and raced downstairs.
She saw Urs looking at his watch and coughed softly. When he looked up, his eyes widened and he took a step back.
She carefully walked down, like some kind of Cinderella who entered a ballroom. Urs' expression made her think this was fun. Maybe she had to dress up more.

At the bottom of the stairs she stood still. She was afraid Urs would have worn a tuxedo, but he looked perfect in a black suit with a darkgrey shirt and a slighter dark tie.
He came to her, took her hand and kissed it. "You look beautiful." He gently caressed her bare arm and shoulder. "Amazing."
She knew she was blushing and she wanted to say something but she didn't know what.
He frowned and she could see he was trying not to smile when he asked "What's keeping the dress up?"
"You don't want to know." She was amazed by the trics Faith taught her. "Let's say it could be gum."
"And what are you wearing underneath it?"
She knew how to answer that one. She took a step forward en pushed her body against his while she pulled his head down. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." she whispered.
She remembered his moaning and soft laugh throughout the evening. When he gave her a rose that matched her dress and helped her in the limo, she kept saying to herself not to be nervous.

Afterwards she could hardly remember the introduction to the other couple. Before she realised what was happening, they were sitting in their box and the lights went out. She looked at the programme when it was silent. The first piece was Bach, a double concerto for violin - words that meant nothing to her. The music started and she forgot that she didn't know what she was listening to.

The two soloists stood on the edge of the stage, in front of an orchestra she could hardly see. Their fiddle-sticks moved quickly. Their fingers danced over the strings and their heads moved powerful on the music. And Vicky could hear it.
She could actually hear them dance. She could hear them duelling, and they were trying to beat each other. She could hear them flirt, a playful bickering between two instruments who were chasing each others music. And when they slowed down and the fighting melodies became lovers, it was so beautiful that Vicky felt the tears burning. Urs took her hand and entangled his fingers with hers, but she didn't look at him. She just clutched it tight.

Suddenly she saw the vision of her great-aunt, just as young and full of passion, playing the violin that was on the wall in her hallway. Vicky gasped out of pain. The music came to a finale that she could feel in her fingertips. When the last notes died, she was too overwhelmed to applaud.
She felt the pressure on her arm when Urs bent towards her. "I think about her too."
Vicky shook her head. She didn't want to talk about it. That someone could give up something like this...
When the music started again, she gave into it and banned al the thoughts about the woman who turned her back to her music and Vicky's father.

Even dinner was fun. The older couple that was with them, was charming and funny. When they said goodbye and Vicky said she was happy to have met them, she really meant it. And in the limousine she didn't hesitate to nuzzle close to Urs when he put his arm around her shoulder.
"Maybe I am the type for classical music. Just a little." she admitted softly.

He held her hand when they walked in the house and she walked up the stairs with him. She pulled him towards his room but he pulled her the other way. Towards her bedroom.
They hadn't made love in her room yet. He helped her out of her dress and threw it on the floor. She helped to undress him until he was just as naked as she was.
They laid down on the bed and moved slowly. Vicky told him that his caresses had the same effect as the music had on her. The way he kissed her stomach made her realise that this was so much more than just sex. When she lost her self-control in his arms, he held her tight. And when she fell asleep, she held him, knowing that he wouldn't leave her before morning.

Chapter 38: Family!

When the penetrating sound of the alarm-clock woke Vicky up the next morning, she jumped out of her bed, convinced she had a meeting. Her ankle was grabbed by something and she almost fell on the floor.
Disorientated, naked and half out of the bed, she saw what the problem was. She squeezed her eyes.

Urs was on his side, one hand under his head, and looked at her with an appreciating smile. Then she saw the clock that was turned off by his other hand. Immediately she started to protest. "It's six oclock! In the morning!" She was counting the days in her head. "On a Saturday!"
"That's right."

She plumped down on her back and looked at the ceiling. "Judge, you really think this is premeditated murder, seeing the circumstances?" She answered herself when she felt the bed move. "No, Miss Harper. manslaughter at the utmost." She nodded. "Thank you, judge. That's what I thought."
She put her arm over her eyes to protect them for the light.

"Easy, miss lawyer." He rolled on top of her and pulled her arm away. She looked right and then left. Anywhere to avoid looking at his traitorous face. She changed her mind and looked at him one last time. He would be death soon anyway. And even sooner if he didn't stop grinning.
"Weren't you the one with a morning temper?" she asked grumbling.
"I wanted to wake you up early to let you see one of the advantages of a sleep-over."
"What might that be?"
He slowly let his fingers run down her side until his hand was resting on her hip. She immediately felt hot. "Morning sex."
And half an hour later she was willing to admit that there were lots of advantages.


When Vicky was painting the bathroom for the second time, she realised that Urs had changed the morning in something fun and playful. He once again gave her a present. And because of all that, everything changed between them once again.

At first, making love to him was something she did in the middle of the night. But now it became an obsession. In stead of being happy that they didn't see each other, she got frustrated when she left in the morning without saying goodbye or coming home when he wasn't there yet.

And her family was even worse!
They had let them alone for a couple of weeks, but now they barged in at the most impossible times and it took them hours to get them out again.

At first it was Seb. He was crying because he broke up with a girl Vicky never even heard off. It took a whole evening, a box of tissues and 3 bottles of red wine to make him smile again.

The next one was Faith. She went on a citytrip and bought 8 new hats with matching purses and she absolutely wanted to show them. She brought Debby with her and Vicky and Urs had to sit and watch the fashion show.

And then there were Carlos and David. They wanted to meet Max. So they came with a basket full of toys and candy for him. After they had left, the livingroom and hallway were a big mess with toys laying around everywhere.

In the meantime, Vicky didnt have as much sex as she wanted too. The worst thing was that her family never announced their little visits. In the past she didn't mind that habit, but she was seriously thinking about forbidding them to come by unannounced. Especially after Faith rang the bell on a Saturday afternoon and looked through the window just 2 minutes before she could have seen them doing something that would have embarrassed them all.

And above all that, she hadn't succeeded in getting Urs to go to a baseball match with her. But that problem got solved when she stood on the porch on a Thuesday morning and threatened the garden with destruction if it wouldn't start blooming soon.
"It's no use." Urs said. He stood behind her and put his arms around her middle.
"I've read that plants grow when you talk to them." Vicky bended backwards and kissed him.
"Threatening is not talking and I don't see what indoor plants have got in common with bulbs that are deep under the ground."
"Yes, well, they are all part of the flora, right?" she said casual.
"Maybe we should look it up."
She turned around en put her arms around his neck. "There is something else I prefer doing with you."
He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. "What's that?"
"Going to the baseball."

It took her 5 minutes before she could convince him to take the afternoon off. But in the end he agreed to go with her to the game.

Chapter 39: The game

When they arrived at the stadion, Urs did everything she wanted without protesting. They sat on the open tribune that had no individual seats, but benches with seat numbers. Urs seemed to like to shove close to her, pretending that the man next to him pushed him.
When the home team was winning, he jumped up with others to shout and he even drank lukewarm beer without complaining.

A little boy, seated in front of them, had to much hotdogs and cokes and threw up all over his mother, but Urs didn't even blink. He just said that on the seats of honour are waitresses and hardly any kids.

When the pitcher of the opposite team seamed to be dispassionate, Vicky and the rest of the audience got on their feet. "Do you call that a strike?" she yelled. "Go see an oculist!"
His laugh made her look down. Urs' cheeks started to burn a little and he was sweating lightly in the warm sunlight. Smiling he looked at her. She felt dizzy and had to grab his shoulder for support.
"Are you ok?"

When she saw his concern, she forced a smile and nodded. It must have been because of the strange feeling she had all afternoon. Although he fitted perfectly into her world and she had loved the concert, it sometimes surprised her how different they were. It was like seeing double without knowing what image was the right one.

After the game, they went to the pub where Seb was working. They ordered litres of water because they were dried up due to the sun and were seated at the end of the bar, under the television. Like always, Vicky and Seb analysed the lost game. They explained Urs that you were a real fan if you could bear twice as much lost games as winning ones.
When he asked how many he had to see before they would win, they threw peanuts at him.

When they got home, they plumped down on the couch in the library and argued about who was supposed to get up to get the drinks. Eventually Urs played his cards right. "I drank beer."
Vicky thought about it for a minute. "I bought it for you."
"That, my darling, is not something to be proud about."
She threw a pillow at his head which he caught and put under her feet before getting up. He kissed her on the lips and went to the kitchen.

Vicky could hear him. He was ordering pizza, but just thinking about food made her stomach protest. Two hotdogs and lots of peanuts were probably too much.
When she called him, he came back with the phone in his hand.
"Would you mind not having paprika on your pizza today? My stomach is a bit upset and thinking about the smell makes me sick. I'm sorry."

Chapter 40: A night to remember

Urs sat beside Vicky and pulled her feet on his lap. When he started massaging them, she moaned. "Oh god, I lo... like you so much."
"You just say that because I'm massaging your feet. I wonder how much you're gonna like me when you have to get up for the pizza."

She hardly heard him. She heard in his voice that he didnt notice her hesitation. She wanted to say "I love you so much". Maybe she could have talked her way out of it. Besides, a lot of people say the love someone without meaning it. Yesterday she said it to a collegue who brought a box of donuts to the office. And she sure didn't feel a thing for the receptionist who brought her lunch when she didn't have the time to get it.
But Urs just had to look at her face to know what was going on. She loved him. She loved her husband and that messed up things.

In the mean time he was still massaging her feet. He seemed to think she fell asleep and she liked that. It gave her time to think. What was she supposed to do?
Urs mentioned staying married a few times, but that was a long time ago. And he meant it like a good solution for the both of them, because of their bad experiences in the past. She didn't think he would appreciate it if she would sit up and say "You know, let's do it. Let's stay married. Living together goes well, sex doesn't seem to be a problem and by the way, do you love me?"
Yes. Of course. Forget it! Thinking about it made her heart beat like crazy. 'Take it easy.' she said to herself. There was no need to confess her feelings right away. What she had to do was hide them for a while and let things go the way they were supposed to go.

She wouldn't have expectations and wouldn't push things. Besides, she knew he liked her. He did anything he could to make her feel good, although she thought it was partly his education that made him do it. His concern would fade in the future and it would turn into politeness.
She knew he would never express his everlasting love to her. He wasn't the type for it. But he would know how to make her happy by doing small things. And maybe that was for the best. It definitely was.

She opened her eyes and saw him looking at her. My god, he was so good looking. His smile, the muscles she could see under his clothes...
"Did you sleep well?"
"Mmm."

She sat up, faced him and sat on his lap with her legs wrapped around him. She started to unbutton his shirt.
"It looks like you slept really well."
She pushed his head back against the back of the couch and bended over him. His hands went up her legs and under her shorts. She slowly brought her mouth towards his and kissed him gently while her fingers played with his hair. "I wanted to show you one of the advantages of loosing a baseball game."
He smiled while his hands caressed her behind. "And what's that?"

In one swift move she pulled her t-shirt over her head. He squeezed his eyes when her own hand caressed her neck and travelled down till she reached her shorts. When she opened the button, she felt a little naughty. "Sex as consolation."

Their mouths found each other and his hand went up under her shorts. His other hand caressed her back. When he couldn't take it anymore, he put her on the ground and removed her shorts. She pulled him off the couch and removed the rest of his clothes.

His skin felt hot against her own. Her hands and mouth were teasing him. When he couldn't take it anymore, he pulled her on top of him and brought her to heaven.

They lay on the couch trying to catch their breath when she felt him shaking his head. "What?"
"Do you still mind your team lost? Cause I certainly don't!" He started laughing and Vicky thought it was the perfect opportunity to tickle him. He grabbed her wrists, pushed her on the floor and threatened to tickle her to death. She was saved by the bell. "Damn!"

Vicky quickly pulled her shorts on but couldn't find her shirt. She took Urs' shirt and tried to button it up while she walked to the door. When she opened the front door she knew the pizza guy saw what she just did. She was so embarrassed that she gave him a huge tip and slammed the door. She sighed relieved and leaned against it. When she heard him say "She's hot!", it was just a small consolation.

RE: The Legacy
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Chapter 41: Gratitude

Urs had his pants on when she came back to the library. He took the pizza and placed it on the small table. While they ate, they talked about what they had to do the next day. Vicky discovered she was actually hungry and ate several pieces.
"What are your plans for tomorrow night?" Urs asked.
"Finish the bathroom." she said before licking her fingers.
"It's gonna be beautiful." He gave her a napkin.
"Thank you. And thanks." She winked when she took the napkin. "I love to do this. In a rented house you can't do it the way you want."
"Well, you can do whatever you want around here."
"Yes, thanks to you." When he shrugged she took his hand and gently squeezed it. "I mean it. I don't know if I ever said it, but I am grateful. That you married me. It means so much to me. More then you can imagine."

As usual it wasn't enough for him. He stood up, helped her up, sat down on the coach and pulled her next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders, kissed her on the forehead and leaned back.
"Tell me why it is so important."
And so she did. She told him about her childhood and her mother's death. That she took care of her dad when she was only 8. That she her shoes were too small for months and she couldnt tell her father because she knew it would be a problem to pay the rent.
"When I was in high school, things finally got better. I didn't have a lot of pocket-money and I watched the neighbour's kids after school, but at least I knew we were safe." She put her head on his shoulder. "My dad would find it dreadful if he knew I was still thinking about it. That my definition of being safe is having a roof above my head that can't be taken away from me."

"It must have been hard growing up like that."
She didn't want to admit it was, so she shrugged. "Maybe. But I wanted to help him. And sometimes it felt good to be needed."
"And now you have this house."
"Hold your horses! If we end up with a plague of termites, the whole house can be eaten in one night!"
"That's highly unlikely!"
"Last summer, it happened to a woman in Tennessee."
"Where did you hear that?"
"On the internet."
"You do know that not everything on the internet is true, don't you?"
"What?"

When Urs started to debate about checking the reliability of information sources, she made him shut up by kissing him and proving how good she was in getting information from certain sources. Her research was profound and ended in her bed.


When Vicky woke up a couple of hours later, it was dark in the room. She didn't know what woke her up. A sudden burst of nausea answered her question. She raced to her bathroom.
She didn't want to wake up Urs and didn't want to have her dinner all over the floor, so she didn't put on the lights. She made the toilet just in time and threw up so heavy her stomach hurt afterwards. She closed the door, put on the lights and staggered to the sink to brush her teeth and rinse her mouth. In the mirror she saw her pale and sweaty face.
The fear she withhold, turned up again.

She had her mouth full of toothpaste when the door opened and Urs entered the bathroom. He had his pants on, but didn't zip them up.
"Are you ok?"
She leaned over the sink and cleared her mouth. She looked at him in the mirror. "No. I think I'm pregnant."

Chapter 42: A new family?

"How long do you know this?"
Vicky flung another drawer. The only thing she wanted were her tracking pants. Why didn't you ever find anything when you needed it?
"It hit me about half a minute ago."
From the corner of her eye, she saw him standing in the bathroom door. She rummaged around in the dark because she didn't want to stand naked in the light.
"And before that?"
His voice was calm and neutral, but to her the words sounded accusing.
Finally she found the pants and her sweatshirt. She put them on and felt less vulnerable.
"Before that? I didn't want to know. I was hardly willing to admit I slept with you, so I didn't want to think about being pregnant."
"Because it would be bad?"
"My God, Urs! Of course it's bad!" She yelled. Her heart pounded and her mind was one big chaos. She didnt face him and stared into the dark room. She put her hands on her still aching stomach. When he stood behind her and tried to pull her against him, she didn't give in.
"Does your stomach hurt? Can I get you anything?" He rubbed her shoulders.
She didn't want to be comforted. "I'm not sick." she said and walked away. "I can get it myself."

When she walked downstairs, she heard him coming after her. Why couldn't he leave her alone and give her time to think?
She went to the kitchen, took a bottle of coke from the refrigerator and drank straight from the bottle.

"Vicky, you think that is..."
"Good for the baby?" She slammed the door and took another sip. The cold rinsed her mouth and made her stomach settle down. "You know, Bühler, when you start throwing up your intestines, you can tell me what I need to feel better."
"Ok."
"And stop being so reasonable!"

He stood in front of her, grabbed her shoulders and softly shook her. "I'm on your side, Vicky." When she refused to look at him, he put his arms around her and held her against his naked upper body. His skin felt hot.
"I love you."

She felt the tears on her cheeks and her breathing was irregular.
"I love you." he repeated and it hurt even more the second time. She stayed in his arms for a moment. A couple of hours ago she would have killed to hear those words. When she turned away from him it felt like she was ripped in two.

She could finally look at him because she found it so sweet what he was trying to do. "No, you don't." She put a finger on his lips, preventing him to say anything. "We are together for weeks now, and 5 minutes after you find out I'm pregnant, you decide you love me?" Her voice sounded calm. "I remember you said you wanted children. That your other relationships ended when you realised those women didn't want the same. And I'm happy. Happy because you will love this child." She slowly dropped her hand. "But it's not the same as loving me."

He clamped his hands to fists and she knew he wanted to shake her. She could see how mad he was, but his manners prevented him to out it. "You mean I lie to you?"
She laughed. "No. When you say you love me, you probably believe it." Vicky sighed. "I think you lie to yourself."

When she thought she saw him withhold his emotions before, it was nothing to what happened next. He went completely silent. Suddenly every expression left his face.
"Obviously your great-aunt was right. You are an irrational woman." His words were ice-cold. "Or maybe this was your plan from the start? The taxes would probably sentence you to go begging. Unless you would find someone who has the money to help you out. A lot of money."

It took her a minute before she realised what he accused her off. In a reflex she swung her hand at him. He grabbed her wrist effortless. "Be carefull, Vicky. You better make sure you are really pregnant before you turn away from me." His smile hurt her. "No, wait. You already did."
And with those words... he left.

Chapter 43: Loneliness

Vicky had no idea how long she stood in the kitchen. She was frozen by the time she got back upstairs. She climbed in bed and nuzzled under the covers, but she was still cold. She stared in the dark. She could have cried because her heart was breaking. She could have thrown a brick through the window because she was so angry.

When morning came, she left the house and went to her father's. When John opened the door, he threw one glance at her and took her in his arms. "Oh kiddo."
Vicky tried to tell him what happened. "I thought... I would feel better... if I just left." Her breathing was irregular and the pain in her chest was unbearable. "But it isn't. It feels horrible and lonely." Tears were burning in her eyes. "I am so alone, daddy."
"Shh, I know."


An hour later she sat on the couch, an old blanket wrapped around her, but she was still cold. The cup of coffee, decaffeinated, she was holding, warmed her fingers but nothing more. The aroma made her think about Urs who didn't come after her. She knew she was a fool for wanting that. It looked like she was the fool he thought she was.

"What are you gonna do?" her father asked.
"Today? Call in sick." She laughed sad. "I don't know. I think I'll go back to my apartment. I can't go back to that house."
"You can stay here if you want."
"Thanks. Maybe I will. But can we keep the others away for a while?" She didn't feel up to answering her nieces' questions.
"That will only work for a couple of days, honey." John smiled. "If they can't come to dinner on Sunday, they'll know something is wrong."
"They are gonna kick the door." Vicky laughed for the first time.

For a moment there was silence.
"And the baby?"
"I want to keep it." She looked at her father and hoped she would be as strong as he had been. "I already love the baby as much as you must have loved me."

Her father frowned and hesitated before he said anything. "I don't know, Vicky. Did I love you enough?"
"What are you talking about?" Vicky started to get nervous. "You loved me more then enough. I never doubted that."
"If you are sure I loved you, how come you don't see Urs loves you?"
"Because it's not the same. Urs cares... cared... for me. And he will love the baby."
"But?"
Her eyes filled with tears again. "But it looks like I'm a love-letter-type after all." she said although she knew her father didn't know what she was talking about. "I needed something more then someone who was willing to take his responsibility."

Vicky stayed with her father for 2 days and let him answer the door and pick up the phone. Unfortunately it wasn't who she hoped it would be. Urs didn't call and didn't come by.
3 days later Vicky returned to her apartment.

Chapter 44: A meeting with the past

She learned to live on her own again. To sleep on her own without waking up in the middle of the night because she wanted to feel someone next to her. When she woke up at night, it was because she had to throw up.

In the end, she couldn't keep her cousins away for more then a day.
Seb had to be calmed down because he wanted to beat Urs up. She made Faith promise not to go to every baby shop and buy everything she could get her hands on.
Debby just smiled and handed her a book about being pregnant. "It's not as exciting as Pride and Prejudice, I admit, but much more handy."

Vicky told herself that her baby should feel lucky to have such great aunts and an uncle who were so excited about having a baby in the family. They already talked to her belly in stead of talking to her.
These lies would have made her happy if she could have believed them.


When she opened the door on a Saturday afternoon, the man from the express service stood there with a parcel. She immediately knew who it came from. Her hands were shaking when she opened it. She found an old, leather diary and a small card.

"This was in the attic. I thought you should have it.
U."

She put the card in the diary and tried no to think about the other notes that were still in a drawer at the house. But it didn't work. So she took the diary and hoped it would bring some distraction.

It was a ledger with all the entries and expenses. In the margin were remarks about the weather, a reminder to give the boy who did the mowing five dollar for his birthday. The handwriting was old and insecure. Even if she didn't know the book was from her great-aunt it was obvious that an old person had written in it.

What she didn't expect, was the loneliness.
"I haven't seen the mailman in 3 days. I hope he is not sick."
3 pages further. "The boy from next door came in after mowing for a cookie. He's growing up so fast."

There was nothing about someone who could have been a friend. And Vicky knew there was no family left after aunt Victoria broke with her niece because she refused to give up her lover and give away the baby.

By the end the personal notes got longer and the entries and expanses shorter. Vicky felt the desolation and imagined the old woman sitting at the window, looking to the growing of the hedge and sometimes seeing something from the other side. The last note was a long story that was hardly readable.


"Last night I dreamt of Richard. Not young, but old. Older then I am now. His hair was white as snow and his fingers crooked, but he still played the piano and it sounded like on the first night that I met him. How silly can you be to fall in love with a man who is thirty years older, just because his music makes you cry? And to let him fall in love with you when you know you will never follow him, away from home, from your family. But how could I?

The first time I played for an audience, my parents were furious. They acted like the Chicago Symphonic Orchestra was some kind of sinister company. Telling them that I fell in love with the conductor was impossible. It didn't take long before he was gone. I think the orchestra toured Europe for two years. I decided to give up music, he decided to follow her. Or maybe there were too many memories to the city were I betrayed his confidence and where we loved each other for a while and lived the music.

I can't regret it. My whole life would be wasted if I thought I made the wrong choice. I made the only possible choice.
But last night I dreamt of Richard and I wished I could perform with the orchestra one more time.
I wish I was more like Marianne. She gave up everything for John. And she was happy."


Between the last pages was a photo. Vicky recognised the baby even before she turned the picture and saw her mothers' handwriting.
'Victoria Marie Harper. One week old.'

She smiled at the picture and put a hand on her belly, something she seemed to do a lot these days.

Before she could change her mind, she took a piece of paper.
'Thank you', she wrote and put it in an envelope. If she was lucky he got it with the afternoon mail.