“We managed alright for about 7 weeks, melting snow for water, sleeping in caves or lean-tos that I built, though the horse died and so I had to abandon the cart, I tried but it was too heavy for me to pull. Still I was able to carry some of the horse meat and smoke it over a fire the next couple of nights. It helped. I had to eat or my milk would dry up and then the boys….Twice I thought we were finished, it was too warm and we were at a lower altitude so no more snow for water, but we found a herd of goats and slept among them for the body heat, milked the dams and when we heard the shepherd coming took off again, the second time, I cut the throat of one of the kids and took his body with us. His meat kept us alive another few days.

“We kept going slightly north by east…I knew that was where Kandahar was and I was desperate to get there. I came upon a road way and saw refugees heading in to a small town so I straggled along behind them, being very careful to only bring one of the twins out at a time to nurse and to stay only with the women.

“The boys had grown in spite of the restricted diet and now my milk wasn’t enough for them, they were hungry all the time but we had nothing else. We made it to the village and I knew that there were no more options left. I had nothing left to give them.

“It was the village of Herat and it was here that I heard that the medical unit that had been based here was evacuating the civilians and the medics. I thought this would be my chance and tried to get as close as possible but there were guards everywhere and even when I did finally manage to get close I couldn’t take off my chadur for fear the crowd would be angered and rip me to pieces, then God knew what would happen to Lucas and Peter.

“So I did the only thing I could think of. I found a piece of not too stained white cloth and cut it in two, used a shard of glass to cut my ankle for ink and wrote on the cloth with a sliver of the same glass. When it dried I tied one to each of the boys, kissed them and put them back in the sling. Then I went back to the heli pad and forced my way through the crowd. While the guard was busy I ducked under his arm and thrust the bag at a lady doctor sitting on the floor in the chopper. I tried to scream at her that I was Canadian, to please take the boys to their father but I couldn’t tell if she heard me. The door closed and one of the guards decked me with a rifle butt to the head.

“Someone must have dragged me out of the compound because I came to surrounded by sleeping women. The next morning everyone started out on the trek to Kandahar and I followed along. I won’t tell you of the trip…it was just endless days of trying to stay alive, trying to keep moving, grieving and missing our sons, praying that the boys were now safe with Urs.

“I kept to myself, did everything the Taliban soldiers said, learned how to shoot their nasty rifles, gave up any supplies they demanded without an argument, walked quietly beside them when they used the chadur for a disguise, said nothing when I saw them break the necks of those who defied them, anything I could to not draw attention to myself. When people died along the way, I stripped their bodies of heavy clothing, water, food, what ever I needed and they no long did. And then we got close to Kandahar and there were more of the gunmen hiding among us, some of them lecherous, all of them dangerous, so I hid my supplies under my chadur and it made me look fat.

“Once I was even shot at by some Canadian troops but fear is a great motivator to run fast and even though my feet were bleeding by this time, I ran like a bear was after me.

“I was resting my feet in that ruins when the gunman dragged the little girl in there. I didn’t even think about it, just cupped his chin in my hand, curled my hand around his neck and snapped. I knew how…I had seen it done many times during the trek. It sickened me that I was becoming an animal like the Taliban, reacting violently, without thinking or feeling. Then his friend popped up from behind the wall and shot me. I guess he thought I was dead. The girl ran like a rabbit and he kicked me, then left too. I had just finished packing part of my under-dress into the wound when you all arrived.”

She still had the bottle of brandy in her hand and drank from it again then passed it back to Carlos as all of them sat in silence, not able to think what to say.

“So, Honey, does this mean you aren’t recommending Afghanistan as a tourist destination?” Urs voice came from just by her ear and she jumped then laughed and when she did the others laughed as well.

“You, Herr Buhler, have been around David too long….his wacky sense of humor has rubbed off on you,” she said and leaned back into him, grateful for the mood change.

“Cherie, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did what was necessary to keep your sons and yourself alive. I am proud to have you for my friend.” Seb stood and bent over to kiss her cheeks, wiped his wet face and went back for another pull of the brandy bottle while Carlos and David did the same thing.

“I wonder how many of us could have survived as well?” Urs said and kissed her neck. They sat talking for another few minutes then the three Divos left Urs and his tired lady alone.

**

“You alright?” Urs asked her as they stood alone in the room. She was leaning against his chest relaxed but holding tightly to him.

She looked up and smiled as he ran his hands up and down her arms lightly.

“Yes. It feels so much better having talked about it and told you what terrible things I’ve done. Now maybe I can begin to forgive myself.”

He brushed the curls back from her forehead and left his hands around her face. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing! You did exactly what you had to do to protect our sons and keep yourself alive, nothing more, nothing malicious or out of greed or envy or even hatred. And I’m proud of you.”

He kissed her sweet face gently and lay his mouth softly on her lips, teasing her with his tongue until she opened her lips to let him in.

“So when do I get my surprise?” she whispered as he left her eager mouth and tickled her neck with his wandering lips. His hands slid up under her shirt and caressed her skin, making her quiver. She felt him shiver when her hands trailed down his chest following the line of curly hair as it disappeared under his belt.

“When you least expect it of course, that’s why it’s called a surprise. But right now I have something else for you.”

“MMMMM….and when do I get it?”

“In about 30 seconds,” he said as he ran his hands up under her shirt again and cupped her breasts with warm fingers, touching so gently it was a tease and she arched her back to push against him. He knelt on one knee on the bed and slid his hands around to her back to lower her onto it, removing barriers with lightening speed and stretching out on top of her.

“Oh, how I have missed the weight of your body on mine. I feel so loved, so complete when your skin warms mine.”

“And I’ve missed the taste of you. You create a hunger that I can’t control, don’t want to.”

He trailed his mouth over her, leaving a growing sensation of tingling that followed, across her neck and shoulder, down to her stomach and further, appeasing his hunger and making her cry out with pleasure.

Honey reached for him to caress his silky hair and writhed under his busy hands and mouth, leaning up to meet his lips with an open mouth when he came back to share with her the tastes he had found.

She sighed, nearly purring with contentment. He was so good at giving presents you really, really liked.

*****