Chapter SEVENTEEN continued



The tour had gone even better than anticipated. The crowds were huge and responsive and the Divos on the top of their form especially now when they had such a run of good luck going in their personal lives.

Urs seemed to never stop smiling, got back his wry sense of humour that had deserted him for a while, Seb’s Maman had made a full recovery and the wedding that had been delayed was now on again for April.

Carlos and Geraldine had found the perfect condo for them in Chelsea, decided to keep the flat in Madrid as well, for a nice quiet get away.

The newest CD had surpassed all expectations, was now on the 4th run and the suppliers were screaming for more, and the DVD done at the Greek in LA was such a hit that they were contemplating another, maybe a behind the scenes one.

The only fly in the ointment was that neither Urs nor Carol had heard from Honey since February 6th, a long 20 days ago. Still Urs wasn’t worried…she had said that it was pretty secret stuff.

They were a bit surprised when Simon showed up for the last concert on the tour but then you could always count on Simon to do the unexpected.

At the wrap party after the venue had been cleared, everyone was relieved to be going home, none more so than Urs. He had enjoyed the tour, genuinely liked all the people they worked with, not just his Divo brothers, but he was anxious to be with Honey after such a long time. He circulated among the crew, talking to everyone, chatting about what plans they all had for the future, was actually laughing with one of the best boys and his girlfriend when Carlos came up on one side of him and David on the other.

“Simon needs to talk to us in the dressing room,” David said and took Urs arm to steer him away from the party and down the hall. They looked very serious and Urs got a feeling that the group had done something to upset ‘Mr. Nasty’. He just couldn’t think what it had been.

Everyone was there, Steve, Simon, all the girls, Seb and now the remaining Divos….and they all looked sad, in fact the girls looked like they had been crying.

Urs looked at Simon and he knew. He felt a tight band squeeze his heart, couldn’t breathe though his lungs screamed for air, felt himself turning legless and leaned against the wall with his hand out toward Simon, trying to ward off the news that Simon had come all this way to tell him.

“Urs,” Simon began but Urs wouldn’t meet his eyes and shook his head violently.

“No!!! Don’t say it. If you don’t say it, it won’t be true…..Please, don’t say it…” He felt David and Carlos take his arms and thrust him into a chair, saw Simon crouch in front of him and take his face in strong hands.

“Urs….you have to listen to me…you have to face this, man.”

Urs stared at him, his eyes wild and unblinking, like a rabbit facing a wolf, stunned, afraid, but hypnotized into immobility.

“The NATO commander called me. I was listed as a contact in case of emergency. She wanted someone who knows you, to tell you if anything happened. Honey’s helicopter went down….they think there were no survivors.”


**

Things were blurry after that. Someone gave him a drink, then another, somehow they made it back to the hotel, into the suite, everyone talking quietly, one of his friends close at all times, but he was mute, stunned, robotic, until he had cried so long, silently, that he had no tears left.

He struggled to his feet, using muscles that in spite of all his efforts had become suddenly flaccid and everyone watched with anxiety. Anna tried to go to him, but Seb pulled her back, and Urs just smiled, patted her on the shoulder and went in to the bathroom.

The image in the mirror didn’t look much like him, his face so pale he looked ill, eyes puffy, bloodshot, circled with darkness, his hair messy from all the well meaning embraces of his dear friends. He washed his face with cool water, dried it and brushed his hair back into a small ponytail, wrapped a band around it and went back out to the others.

They were quiet when he returned, not one of them able to think of anything to say that wouldn’t be either condescending or unfeeling.

“What do you mean they ‘think’ that there were no survivors?” he asked Simon calmly and faintly heard his brothers exhale as they realized that Urs was in control of himself again.

“Apparently they did a fly over, really low, the next day, when they finally found the crash site….. there was no movement. They saw 4 bodies and ….scavengers….. there were 5 on the heli including Honey. A week later they notified me, that was last Thursday and said they were sending in a ground team to do a thorough search. When I got word that they found no one else alive, I flew out to tell you. It just didn’t seem right to do it on the phone.”

“But, Simon, what does that mean? Did they or did they not find her,…her body?” In spite of his efforts to remain calm his voice broke on the last word.

Simon stood and stomped around the Lounge, stopped and glared at Urs.

“You’re determined to get every last detail aren’t you? Can’t you just accept an easy explanation without having it spelled out and hurting more?”

Urs just stared, unblinking, at him and Simon groaned.

“The place they crashed in is very wild, barren, no villages, cold and lots of snow. There are a lot of predators. They found where someone had been impaled on a metal rod and pulled off it, dragged a good distance leaving a trail of blood and there were some pieces of camo gear in a small size. It had snowed heavily after the crash so it was impossible to do much tracking. And the corpses of the pilots and two soldiers had been…mauled.”

Urs saw how much telling him had hurt Simon and he pulled his gruff boss into him for a quick hug.

“Thank you,” he said and went to the closet in the hall, pulled out his light brown leather jacket and put it on. They were all looking at him as he opened the door and gave them a weak smile. “I’ll be back. I need to go and walk for a while.” And he left them, needing more than anything to be alone.

**

Urs walked for over 2 hours, unmindful of the light rain or the chilly air, thinking about the time they had spent together, thinking about the life they were planning, about their precious sons. It didn’t seem real to him. There was some part of his mind that kept insisting that he would know if she was gone. She was strong, wise to survival tactics, maybe not after a heli crash but definitely in a cold climate. His heart ached with the knowledge that it was unlikely that the twins would survive the trauma of a crash and the hardships their mother would face trying to keep alive but he felt certain that Honey lived.

He turned to return to the hotel and within a few steps realized that he was being followed. Seb, Carlos and David had been behind him all along, concerned for him, hating long walks but caring deeply for his safety, not wanting him to suffer alone. He walked silently up to them and they huddled together in a group hug, then flagged a taxi to go back to the hotel.

Urs laughed at Seb’s sigh of relief when they were sitting in the small cab, sandwiched in but at least sitting.

“I would know if she were dead. She’s tough and strong. I believe that she’s out there, trying to survive.” Urs sounded so calm and sure that the others didn’t try to argue with him.

They left for the UK in the morning, arrived in London after a very long, tiring flight and almost immediately Urs started pestering the NATO officials for more details.

**

The pain came in waves, ebbing and swelling, worse if she tried to move. She let her hands drift to her belly, felt the bump that told her the babies were still with her and drifted away again into the blackness.

It could have been days later that she was conscious again, she had no way of knowing. This time she was more aware, could smell the fetid air in the enclosure she was in, the hardness of the place where she lay and when she opened her eyes it was to a flickering light that played on the walls of where-ever she was. There was a hot, stabbing pain in her leg which throbbed harder with each breath or movement so she tried to keep her lower body still. She turned her head to look around, feeling her stomach at the same time and realizing that what had woken her was the babies kicking.

She quietly sobbed with the thought that no matter what else was wrong at least the boys were still alive.

** ***