Chapter 38
The next few days were a blur to David and to the rest of them as well. Ever efficient as she was Tracey had organised her own passing, made all the arrangements even the permission for her to be buried on the property. She had made Sue promise not to open the letter until it was time. Now Sue sat at the table with the others, holding David’s hand as she read Tracey’s instructions.
“ My sweet, sweet adopted family. I am so sorry that you are sad. Writing this I do not know when or how I shall have to leave you but I do know you are all now back home and most likely sitting around that big wonderful table where we had so much fun.”
This brought a few small smiles to their faces.
“I know it is hard but I want you to remember those times. You guys had a song you sang and one of the lines says, I don’t want to change the world. Well you changed my world. I have had such a wonderful life since you all showed up. You gave me more than I could possibly imagine or have every dreamed for.
You showed me what it was like to live again. I know if you had not entered my life I would have continued to be totally absorbed in my work until I could no longer cope and my life would have been so much shorter. But I found out that I could live and be happy.
David, my sweet, sweet Merlin.”
David smiled a little.
“I remember the day you got your nick name. That little pout. But you have truly been my Merlin. You put the magic into life. You loved me even when I tried to push you away knowing someday I would have to leave you. But my precious David you have been so much more to me. You have been my knight, my lover, my friend, my guardian angel, my prince, my strength and my champion. I asked God to send me someone who was excellent and he sent me someone who was perfect.”
David’s tears flowed again and as he dropped his head Urs squeezed his shoulders. Everyone had tears in their eyes.
Sue continued. “I had such a wonderful life with you David, more than I could have ever hoped for. I am so sorry that now I have made you sad. Made you all sad but please don’t be sad for too long. Don’t weep for me. I want you all to go and live life, take chances, go on adventures.
Hayden. What can I say but that you have grown into an amazing young man. You have made me very proud to be your mother. I know if you continue to follow your dreams you will have a fulfilling life. I know I was probably not the usual or traditional mother but I hope that you know I love you very, very much.”
Hayden wiped the tears from his face. “I know mum. I always have.”

Sue took a deep breath as she continued to read. “Cowboy. Sweet, quiet, deep thinking charmer. You certainly gave me a bit of a scare the first time we met. But look at you know. You’ve tamed a Tassie Devil no less.”
Urs hugged Nat at those words.
“In a way I need to thank you for getting so ill back then. If not for you, David and I would have never met. I am glad that you found that you could be yourself around me. Your real self, it has been an honour to be called your friend.”
Urs buried his head in his hands and Nat pulled him close so he could rest on her shoulder.
“Dear Jack, Capt’n Jack. How that suits you, you always did remind me of Errol Flynn. Did I ever tell you that?”
Sebastien shook his head.
“You and Reba have been so good to me, just seeing the way you look after her, those little things you do for her when you think no one is watching. The little gifts in her suitcase, the poems you would e mail. Sebbie thank you for being the man you are. Never loose that youthful optimism and wonder.
Papa Smurf. Now Carlos don’t sulk. You know we love you very much. I need you to be strong for me, for the others. Be that father figure they will need for a while.”
Carlos had no idea when Tracey had written the letter Sue was now reading but he did remember their talk.
“I have always admired your strength, you passion and your devotion to Gillian. Do not be sad or angry Carlos. My life was much better for knowing you.
My dear sweet Nat. You are the craziest person I have ever met and I thank you for it. You kept me sane at times when I thought that was impossible and then again drove me insane at other times. But your energy always surrounded me and I knew I could count on you to make me smile and laugh. Once you have finished being mad at me for leaving go and do something crazy just for me ok. I’ll be watching.

Rene and Gillian. Thank you for allowing me to be part of the sisterhood, it has been very special, you are both very special women, so elegant and poised. Something this little Aussie bird was never able to pull off.”
Both Reba and Gillian shook their heads.
“I just want to say thank you for being my friends.”
Sue took a deep breath and looked at them all. “She has something to say to Simon and myself but you don’t need to hear it.” Then she looked at David, handing him an envelope. “Tracey said to give this to you.”
David took it and opened it. A single dried rose petal fell out as he pulled the letter out, it was a poem. David read the first few lines aloud but could not continue, letting the paper fall to the table. Urs picked it up. “Do you want me to read it David?”
David nodded and Urs began to read the poem as David held the single petal in his hands.


A SINGLE PETAL
A single petal from a single rose
Is all that remains in memory of the time we had.
A single jewel,
Holding onto the past.
Wishing time had stood still,
Wanting to be at your side once more.
Hold your hand,
See you smile,
Hear you laugh,
Catch your tears,
Be consumed by the miracle that is your life.
To be veiled by your passion,
Engulfed by your love
And travel through life on the wings of your tenderness.
Eternity is but a moment in time that will last forever,
And forever I shall remember what we had,
Forever I will carry the gift you gave.
That gift was you.
Do not grieve at my passing,
Because of you I lived.
You were the magic that held me.
You will always be my Merlin.

(I will love you forever David. Tracey)

Urs was choking back tears as he finished, looking around the table everyone was crying, including Sue and they had joined hands. Tracey had touched their hearts. Urs looked at the petal in David’s hand. “I thought you always sent her daffodils?”
In a quiet voice David spoke as he gently glided his finger over the petal. “This was from the very first flowers I ever sent her. The only roses I ever sent her.”
This knowledge seemed to send the girls into a deeper grief. Sue needed to finish what Tracey had to say.
“There’s just a little bit more ok.” She continued. “I know you all think you want to say good bye so I have asked Sue and Simon to organise a small gathering for just us. But I rather you all get drunk.”
This announcement shocked them. But Carlos smiled. “Good idea Tracey. We shall lift a glass to celebrate your life.”
Sue put the letter back in the folder. “That’s about all. I have organised with the pastor of the local church to come out and do a little ceremony tomorrow where she wants to be buried if that is ok with you.”
Everyone nodded.
No one really knowing what to do next they all sort of drifted off in pairs. Leaving Sue, Simon, Hayden and David at the table. David folded the poem and returned it and the petal to the envelope and put it in his pocket.
Simon had remained silent through the whole proceedings, trying to be stoic. “How you holding up David?”
“She never wrote me a poem before. I had no idea she could write such beautiful words.” He looked at them both as the pain shadowed his face and he began to cry again. “I can’t breathe without her.” He dropped his hands and his head onto the table and sobbed.
“D, I think it is time we all had a bit of a rest.” Hayden stood by David waiting.
Sue spoke. “He’s right David. I’ll call you all when I have tea ready.”
Hayden took David up stairs to the room that would have been his and Tracey’s if they had not elected to stay at the cottage.
David sat on the end of the bed and Hayden handed two small pills and a glass of water. “Help you get some sleep.”
David did not argue just swallowing the pills. “She was an amazing woman.”
Hayden smiled weakly. “Yes she was D, Yes she was.”
Hayden return to his own room, taking his own pills, curled up on the bed and cried until they took effect and he fell asleep.