Chapter 21
After Simon and Sue had explained the whole situation to Il Divo including what was going to happen in England. Although they guys were overwhelmed by it all. They understood why Tracey had done what she had. Now all of them not just David had a deeper understanding of her passion, her reasons for wanting to help them. The four of them sat on the lounge while Simon answered their questions, gave them his own version of why he thought Tracey did what she did.
Having spent a great deal of time with Tracey, Urs had a better insight into Tracey’s heart and soul than most. It warmed his heart to know that such a person had come into his life. No strings, all she wanted to do was help and she had in more ways than she probably knew. “If the world had more people like Tracey it would be a better place.” Urs’ eyes drifted as he was lost in this own thoughts.
Carlos and Sebastien agreed with him and they fell silent. It had been a lot to be involved in.
David drifted, but he drifted out of the house and found himself walking towards Tracey’s cottage. He stood a little way off just looking at it when he noticed the cat. She was wondering in and out of the front door and it sounded like she was crying. Baby Girl saw him, ran to him and then ran back to the house. Waited for him to join her, when David didn’t move she ran back to him and pawed his leg. This time he followed her and entered the cottage.
Tracey was lying on the sofa, curled up, rocking back and forth, shaking. It was obvious she was in pain. She had her eyes shut tight. David knelt down beside her, not sure if he should touch her. He gently stroked her brow and she opened her eyes. Tracey was mortified that David had found her, she tried to sit up.
“No… What can I do? Tracey tell me what to do?”
Tracey began to cry. She didn’t want him to see her like this. The virus came in waves and cycles. Sometimes it was not so bad. But this attack was the worst for a while. There really was nothing he could do for her. Tracey had taken her medication before the attack started. It helped but the pain wracked her whole body.
David pleaded with her. “Tell me what to do?”
Another river of pain gripped Tracey’s body. “Hold me.”
David pulled her up so he could sit and rest her head on his lap. She was boiling up. Her whole body was on fire.
“You’re so hot. We need to get you some help”
“No…..” Tracey gasped. “Just hold me.”
So David held her, he talked to her and each time a wave of pain hit her he cradled her closer. It seemed like an eternity for the attack to be over, in reality it was only 15 minutes. Slowly David could feel Tracey’s body relax, start to cool down. She sat up and in a weak voice spoke. “I’m so sorry you had to see that. You were never meant to.”
David was dumbfounded as to how pale she was; even her eyes seemed to have lost their colour.
“Tracey, this in not a diabetic thing. You were in so much pain. What happened?”
“It’s not drugs if that is what you are thinking.”
If David had not known she was dying he may have thought that. “No, I know that, but there must be something they can do.”
Tracey smiled and traced the outline of his face with her forefinger. “You’re very sweet. But the best thing you can do for me now is help me to bed. An attack like this takes a lot out of me.” She did not want to have to explain to him. She was still wrestling with idea of letting him know all about her. Too weak right now. She just needed him to be a friend.
David helped her to her feet, were Tracey steadied herself. “How did you know I was here?”
David looked around the room until he saw Baby Girl sitting at the front door. “She told me.”
Tracey looked at her four legged furry companion. “Snitch.”

Sue had just finished reading e mails and was on her way to let Tracey know that Nat would be at the property by night fall. The girl had decided she was missing out on too much and wanted to be where the action was. Sue had tried to convince her that all the action was over but she was coming anyway. As she got to the front door of Tracey’s cottage she could hear muffled voices. “Trace, you ok Girl?”
Sue was stunned when it was David that walked from her bedroom. At first she thought all the wrong things. But one look at him and she knew. “How bad is she David?” Sue had already started to walk towards the bedroom.
David followed her. “She was in so much pain Sue, I felt useless, I couldn’t do anything, and I couldn’t make the pain stop.”
“None of us can my sweet.” Sue looked him straight in the eyes. “Now do you understand just what you would be taking on if she ever let you?”
David was about to answer when Sue gently placed her hand over his mouth.
They both went to Tracey’s side. Sue sighed. “You know this is exactly why you are supposed to wear your pager.”
Tracey smiled weekly at her friend. “Sorry boss. I think I may have frightened our guest just a little. It’s a bit daunting the first time you see it.”
David did not say anything, she was right.
“Ok missy let me see your wrist.”
“I am fine now Sue honest.”
“The wrist…..”
This conversation had lost David but Tracey pulled her arm from under the sheets. On her right wrist were 4 coloured bangles. He could see by the look on Sue’s face that she was not happy about it.
“Trace, you haven’t eaten. How am I supposed to keep you healthy if you won’t eat?” Sue turned to David. “There will be milk in the fridge and on the bench is a silver canister with a cream coloured powder in it. I want you to put two heaped dessert spoons of powder in a large glass of milk and stir and bring it in.” David left in silence and did what he was told.
How did bangles on her wrist alert Sue to the fact that Tracey had not eaten. It was funny that considering what he had just been through this was the question he most wanted answered.
By the time he got back into Tracey’s room, Sue had her sat up in bed. Some of the colour had returned to her face and Tracey smiled weakly at David as he handed her the drink.
“She can be bossy when she wants to be can Sue.”
“I have a good mind to confine you to quarters.
“Like that ever worked.”
Again Sue turned to David. “See what I have to deal with. Well I guess I should tell you that Nat will be here in time for tea.”
It was David’s turn to get a word in. “Nat the friend who dragged you to Melbourne to see us again? That Nat?”
Both Sue and Tracey replied. “Yes”
Sue took the empty glass off Tracey. “So that means you need to rest young lady if you want to have any more visitors today.”
Tracey did not argue, just slid herself back down the bed, she was tired. She never did remember David and Sue leaving her room.
After a few moments Sue took David by the hand and escorted him out of the cottage. They had a slow walk back to the guest house.
“I guess you have a few questions?”
“What’s with the bangles?”
Sue smiled, it was not the question she was expecting but it was one she could answer. “Arr. The bangles. Well, Tracey can’t wear a watch.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
Sue smiled. “Can’t. She fries them. Something to do with the electricity in her body. They just stop working. The longest she has ever had a watch is 18 months. But with the diabetes she is supposed to eat every 3 hours. I know what you are thinking. Crazy idea. Right, but it works. She starts off the day will six and takes one off for every meal. Her body pretty much tells her its time anyway but this is just a reminder. And before you go into all the other things we could do. Been there, done that. I even tried to get her pager to beep every three hours but the damn thing gets confused.”
David just shook his head. “Let me guess, the electricity right?”
“Yep. I can tell which horse or which quad bike Tracey is on because the GPS goes nuts. Same with her pager. So we are back to the bangles. It’s cheap and she doesn’t cheat. You saw that. And as crazy as it sounds it works. It just gives her that little reminder she needs.”
David was amazed. With all the high tech gizmo’s in the world, plastic bangles.
Sue waited for the other questions. Ones she was not sure she wanted to or could answer for him.
“Sue, I know that wasn’t all due to her being a diabetic. There is more going on. How often does something like that happen to her?”
“It’s complicated David and I am not sure I should be the one to tell you.”
David turned to Sue with pleading in his eyes. He wanted so much to tell her he knew but held his tongue. He gave her the chance to think it through.
“Please Sue, All I want to do is help, anyway I can.”
By this time they had reached the guest house but Sue elected to keep walking. Not knowing if the others where still there. So she took David off down one of her favourite walking tracks.
“It’s a virus David. Once you get through all the medical mumbo jumbo that’s what it boils down to. Something that was dormant in her body and may well have never woken up but it did. She got very ill while she was overseas about 6 years ago. Got a nasty case of the flu and then pneumonia. Somehow in the middle of all that, this virus woke up. It took a while for them to figure it out. Test after test. Its arthritis, its lupus, no it’s this, no it’s that. It went on for ages. It’s a virus that attacks a healthy body. Thinks it needs to fix something that doesn’t need fixing. Being diabetic doesn’t help. Well that’s the user friendly explanation. And as you saw it can get pretty intense.”
“You mean to tell me that a virus gives her that much pain? How often does she have to go through this?’
“It seems to come in cycles. But they are not always severe and the symptoms are not always the same. Sometimes she gets what she calls a flutter. Pain in her chest and she needs to concentrate to keep it under control. That makes her very tired. But unless you knew what to look for you probably would never know it was happening.”
“But you know all the signs don’t you?”
“We’ve been friends for along time. We know things about each other that we will take to the grave.”
“And this one today..?”
“I thought she may have had a bit of trouble earlier what with the travelling and worrying about you four.” Sue saw David’s startled look and continued. “Oh dear, it’s not because of you she is like this. She had so much going on as well. She does that from time to time. Trying to prove to the universe she can still do it all. But each year she gets a little weaker. Not that an outsider would know this.”
“But you thought she was going ok?”
“I did. I guess she was hiding it pretty well for me not to see it. She’s good at that as well.”
David had got to the point where he thought he could ask the question that would give him the answer he was looking for. “So what is her prognosis? If this has been going on for 6 years it is not getting better.”
“No, not getting better and her prognosis is that she should take better care of herself and slow down. But she’ll tell you that God put her on the planet to do a certain number of things and she is not finished yet.”
“That’s crazy.”
Sue just smiled. “That’s my Ace.”
David took a deep breath. “Sue… is she dying?”
There it was, the question Sue was dreading. The words came easier than she had thought, so did the tears. “Yes David she is.”
They stopped walking and David put his arms around her and pulled her close. He had not expected her to answer. He certainly did not expect the tears. For the second time that day he felt useless.
Sue looked up to see were they where. They had stopped at a small billabong, surrounded by trees, a tranquil place.
“I guess it is only fitting you found out here. This is where she told me.”
They sat at the edge of the water for a while in silence, each in there own thoughts.
David wondering what Tracey would do when she found out he knew. Sue wondering what would happen now that on outsider knew the truth.
David had a thought. “Does her son know she is dying?”
“No and Tracey wants it kept that way. He is off exploring the world. She doesn’t want him running back here to play nurse maid and miss out on life.” She looked at David.
“It’s ok my sweet, When the time comes he’ll come home. They both will.”