Soon, both heard a voice from the opened door, “Hey, ummmmm… so, are you going to come in or what?” The words and voice echoed in Natty’s head for a moment as her mind tried to confirm for her that she had heard that voice before. Her eyes widened equal to His smile as he looked into her eyes, but wouldn’t let her see for certain who it was that had just spoken.

As he reached for her face and kissed her deeply once again. “How was your day, Love? I missed you. I want to hear all about it later, when it’s quieter. Oh, and there’s someone I want you to meet. Did I forget to tell you? Oh my, I’m so sorry…” as his grin widened even more and a small chuckle followed. By the time she was able to compose her self and dodge her way around him, the front door was closed. She sighed and looked to him again, reaching for his hand. Looking in her car, he opened the door and picked up her bag and the cooler she used to carry the groceries. She also reached in and grabbed her purse, slinging it over her shoulder. They walked slowly to the front door. Just outside, she paused, took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. He smiled and sighed, knowing he had again chosen another great surprise for her as he had hoped, knowing that she was strong and could face things well, another ‘ thing’ he admired in her. Glancing over at him, he too was wearing jeans and boots. A small grain of comfort had returned to her. He grandly opened the door and ushered her in. She looked over at the fireplace and saw that it was already lit. Flowers were on the table, trays of snacks arranged on the table, and a bottle of champagne was breathing in the ice bucket. The small basket had been refilled with petals and candles were lit. As he closed the door behind them, he stowed her overnight bag on the floor. He quickly took off his jacket and helped her with hers. She dropped her purse on top of the bag and stepped forward, looking around to see who the others were.

No one was in sight other than the two of them. He hugged her again quickly and headed to the kitchen to take care of the cooler. He called over his shoulder, “Natty darling, make yourself at home. I’ll be right back…” She swallowed and tentatively stepped forward, thinking to her self, “… there are other cars here… and I did hear a voice earlier…. Didn’t I?... I didn’t imagine it… “ as she continued to slowly walk toward the center of the room and look around. “So where is he? … I know I know that voice… OH MY GOD….”

As Urs walked back into the room, he was followed by David, Sebastien, and Carlos. All walked toward her smiling and with open arms. “Natty, I’d like you to meet the guys I work with…. Regularly… so to speak. I believe you already know them by name, but in case… this is David, Sebastien, and Carlos. Collectively, we are, as you know, Il Divo the Un-boy band.” All three men warmly greeted her and hugged her close. Natty’s knees were going to buckle, she thought as she greeted them. “Where’s a Thud pillow when you need one?” She joked to herself. They chatted politely among themselves as he placed his arm around her shoulders. Gents… this is Natty, the love of my life and all things near and dear to me. She is one of us, as she is with me. … and no Carlos… not that way…. You horny one, you.” He hugged her close and kissed her gently.

Tears welled in her eyes as she tucked her head in that warm favorite place by his neck. Her mind raced, “Oh dear, lovely Urs, you …. You kissed me… in front of them… in front of Them… oh… and to think….” She thought as she kissed his neck and wrapped her arm comfortably around his waist.

Sebastien cleared his throat and walked over to the table. “I think this calls for a toast to the happy couple.” He reached for the bottle and poured it gently into several glasses, as the rest joined him at the side of the table. Each of the guys took one and lightly clinked them together. Natty was too nervous to join in, so held hers in her trembling hand, tightly holding his with the other.

Sebastien then continued,” …To the SRG, what ever that means in the forum with his SRB, again what ever that also means, and his beloved Natty… May you always find strength, love, and kindness in each other always. May you have each other as a comforting port in the storm regardless of the weather life brings us. “ With that said, he grandly raised his glass toward them, followed by the other two that voiced their agreement.

Urs gently set his glass on the table and reached for a strawberry, again, placing it as he had done that special night, between his teeth and leaned down to Natty. As he had done before, they shared it between them as Carlos clapped loudly. Urs smiled, blushed and brought her champagne glass to her lips. She sipped it nervously and blushed.

The guys looked at Natty and their dear friend Urs and voiced their happiness. They chatted easily between themselves and snacked. Urs never left her side, and seemed comfortable with leaving his arm around her shoulders or waist, other than occasional times he would reach down to her hand to hold it. Her eyes darted between the guys as they spoke, smiling as the evening progressed. Later in the evening, they left one by one. Carlos left first, hugging her once again and kissing her lightly on the cheek. He looked her in the eyes and whispered softly… “He is very lucky to have you Natty, as are we. Welcome to our Simon-made family. I will see you again soon, I hope.” He quietly waved to the rest as he walked out the door. Sebastien was next after only a few minutes had passed since Carlos had left. He too hugged her close and kissed her cheek and thanking her for all she had done to make his friend happy. David was last and hugged her too. He didn’t kiss her, but instead, gently touched her cheek and smiled, saying… “I guess there’s no way you’re a diva is there?” She smiled and, glancing over at Urs close at her side, replied, “No David, I’ve always been and will always be a babe… Uber to the core forever.”

With that, David sighed, shook his friends hand, reaching for his shoulder at the same time, wearily saying his good night. As he left, Urs had moved behind Natty and wrapped his arms around her waist and lightly kissed her head. They watched the last car wind down the road and turn onto the highway. Now she knew what he must have felt as he watched her leave. It tugged at her heart. He had such nice and wonderful friends… and she knew he would be happy and safe with them when they toured, but seeing them leave would be a harder task then she thought. They had accepted her easily; talked to her as though they had already known her; just as her early conversations with him had been. They were real people to her now, not music stars. What she had seen on stage hadn’t been an Act. They were genuinely sincere, nice guys she thought. Sighing, her mind continued to replay the conversations of the evening, as she absently rubbed her hand up and down his arm as he held her.
The phone ringing broke their silence, as he went to answer. Laughing, he replied, “No Sebastien, she’s already told David, she’s an Uberbabe… even from before we met, ask him. “ He looked over and winked at her and shook his head. She smiled and laughed lightly as he hung up the phone. Reaching behind it, he pulled out the plug and laid it on the floor. “Next, it will be Carlos, so, I’m not going through this with each of them.”

They cleaned up the table and chatted in the kitchen as they finished up. Taking her hand, they walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. He opened the door opposite his bedroom and turned on the light. Looking around, Natty saw his guitars, including the red one from the pictures as well as the pale yellow one from the book. Sighing, she looked up at him as he glanced to the floor. Taking her hand, they walked into the room toward the center and stopped. “Natty, there is something you need to know about me, about the band. When I’m on tour with the band, it has to be all about the music, no fear, no worries, nothing… nothing but the music. Do you understand?” He said, looking hopefully into her eyes. “This room is where I come to help me make that happens. The door is always closed because I have to be able to separate my professional life from my personal life. Otherwise, I can’t be that person they see on stage. I want you to see it this once so you can understand.” He reached for her face and pulled her chin up to look deeply into her eyes.

Tears once again welled in the corners of her eyes as she looked into his. They seemed to say they needed her to understand, but there was something else… something she couldn’t read just yet. He kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her and resting his cheek against her forehead. He needed to give both of them a moment. What he had said was important to him and, in his mind, them. Instinctively, she too wrapped her arms around him and rubbed her hands gently up and down his back, deep in thought as she absorbed what she had heard as well as saw in his eyes.

Gathering her thoughts, she nodded her head lightly and pulled away carefully to look at his face again. Her hand reached toward his face and she gently stroked his cheek, looking tenderly into his tentative eyes. “Darling, I do understand. I knew you had to have a place to be the musician, where you kept your guitars and things… I guess where the SRG was kept so to speak. I see a hint of him in you when we are together, but it is just a hint of him… just as there is a work me and a home me. We all are like that to some degree or another. So, that is why I didn’t ask to see it, feeling you would let me know when it was right for you. I think of them as your other babes, so to speak. I would never want to come between you and your music ever. That is what brought us together. I’ll never be a musician, nor have your talent, but I don’t need to have those understand. “

Her hand moved from his cheek to the back of his neck as she gently kissed him. As she quickly opened her eyes to look into his again, she saw his remained closed. Leaning his head forward to touch his to hers, he held her hands in his and moved them up to his lips. Gently, he kissed each finger of her right hand, opened it and deeply kissed her palm, wrapping it again in his. Then he did the same with her left, breathing deeply before opening his eyes to look at her again.

Quietly, without a word spoken between them, she smiled and led him out of the room, turning off the light before firmly closing the door. They crossed the hall and sat at the edge of the bed. Holding her hand in both of his, he calmly told her that he would be joining the band to do a few concerts, but not an actual tour per se. She listened quietly, nodding, stroking the backs of his hands with her other hand. They chatted quietly for an hour. Suddenly, both seemed tired. She quietly kissed his forehead and stood to retrieve her overnight bag. While she was gone, he sat alone, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs. She returned to see him seemingly lost in thought with a concerned look on his face. He hadn’t looked up to see her, but continued to stare toward the floor.

She had left her bag just inside the door, pulled off her boots and padded toward him, gently resting her hands on his shoulders. Kneeling in front of him, she tried to look into his eyes, but he glanced away, blushing. She signed, stood, and headed for the bathroom to give him some time with his thoughts. As slowly as she could, she undressed, brushed her hair and teeth and changed into the creamy white nightgown she had found earlier that day. Carefully, she slid it on over her head as it cascaded down her body, the thin spaghetti straps resting lightly on her shoulders. She dabbed perfume on, then put on the earrings he had given her, forcing the distant look on his face from moments before from her mind. Quietly, she peeked out the bathroom door toward him. He had remained seated where she had left him, still staring at the floor and rubbing his hands up and down his thighs. Just as quietly, she closed the door and returned to the mirror to double check her appearance and make sure everything was in place. Then she looked again. Still he sat. Sighing, she closed the door and waited, checking her nails, touching up her lipstick, fiddling with her curls. Distracted by the motions and lost in thought, she didn’t hear him approach the closed door until she heard the gentle knock.

“Natty darling, are you okay? You seem to be hiding in there or taking more time than Carlos to get ready for a concert.” He said. She could hear his hand rubbing the door on the other side. She closed her eyes and remembered his touch, as she put her hand on the necklace once again. Sighing, she replied, “I’m almost ready. I’ll be out in a minute. Are you okay? You seemed to be troubled by something yourself and I wanted to give you some time alone. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

She heard him smile, even though the closed door still separated them. By this time, her other hand was gently resting on the door along with her cheek. Her arms ached to hold him again, to be in his arms once again, as before. “I miss you, Natty and I want to see you, touch you, be with you. May I come in or will you come out please?” he pleaded.

He stepped back as soon as he saw the knob move. The nightgown matched the pearls on the necklace and earrings he had given her. To him, she only lacked the physical wings to be an angel. He dropped to his knees and looked from the floor, past her open arms, to her smiling face. He reached for her eagerly, as she stepped from the bathroom to the bedroom to greet him, turning off the light as she came forward. He stayed on his knees and wrapped his arms around her slim waist, resting his head on her belly. Still smiling, she hugged his head and playfully tousled his curls. “Oh Natty, my love, how am I going to be without you? Be the musician with you looking like this?” He whimpered. Slowly, he stood, not letting his hands leave her as he arose. Snuggling her close, he looked into her eyes and kissed her deeply. She rocked him quietly in her arms for several minutes with her head resting on his shoulder. If he was crying, she couldn’t bear to see it. Not now, when the evening had gone so well. She stepped back and took him by the hand, walking toward the bed… their bed. Without a word, she pulled off his sweater, unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his now sagging shoulders. He looked tired and lost when she looked into his eyes. Instead, she concentrated on his tee shirt and jeans. Soon, she had him completely undressed, but he still seemed lost and tired. He sat down and moved over, making room for her beside him with eager, out stretched arms. Tenderly, she sat down and reached for his touch. As his warm hands glided onto her shoulders, the lost and tired look faded from his eyes and a faint smile returned to his lips. They kissed passionately as eager hands renewed their way over each others bodies. She took a moment to take the earrings off before returning to his arms. Slowly, he lifted the satiny gown and lifted it effortlessly over her head. The full moon glowed on both the gown and her pale skin. He let his eyes feast again on her beauty as he had before. As she lay down, he too lay beside her.

What ever he had been thinking about earlier had vanished. She would not know what it was for some time. He hummed as he had before, the song that had started their romance those few nights before. She held him close as he moved on top of her and entered her slowly. She couldn’t tell when he had stopped humming, as she was wrapped in a warm passion that only he could create for her as their breathing quickened in harmony. Later, they had snuggled under the covers and propped their heads on the fluffy, soft pillows. She had drifted off to a contented sleep, but he had not. The look had returned to his eyes, as he held her close and stroked her hair.

In the early hours of the morning, he finally gave up and left her side. He padded across the room, pulling on his shirt as he walked and opened the door across the hall. There, he stood without the light on, in the darkness. He opened his arms and closed his eyes, seeming to be in some type of prayer or meditation. He purposefully slowed his breathing and quietly started to hum the scales he had learned so many years ago. He practiced them for an hour, gently touched his favorite guitars, blew a quick kiss into the air as he opened the door and closed the door silently behind him. He padded back to the bed, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. Crept back into bed beside her and drifted off to sleep.

Natty awoke slowly the next morning to find him curled up beside her. He had been awake for some time, lying beside her, watching her sleep. He wanted to touch her then and even more so now. She smiled and snuggled closer, finding that favorite place for her head. She closed her eyes and breathed his faint cologne, as he held her close, stroking her hair. Her hand crept under his arm and toward his lower back, as she snuggled closer, squaring her hips to his. She thought she heard him smile. Soon, he rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. She looked into his eyes and saw that he wanted to talk instead of cuddle. She put one hand on top of the other on his chest and rested her chin on top of them, patiently waiting.

His eyes seem to move side to side rapidly as if he were trying to organize his thoughts in some way. Finally, he smiled, holding the side of her face with his thumb gently stroking her cheek. Looking into her eyes, he said, “Natty, we have today for ourselves so I want to be very selfish and not share you with anything or anyone. In the days to come, the music has to be first for me which I also have to be selfish with. When that happens, I want…. No need you to understand that. Music did and does fill me, but in a different way. It can also be very tiring, so I can’t always give you the attention you may want or need from me. Many people don’t realize what all goes into a concert…. There are rehearsals, crews, sets, equipment, the press, publicity, the clothes, make-up, parties, after show parties, and a million other things. The public will expect a class act from all four of us. I have to be ready to give that to the other guys, Simon, the record label, the fans…. Everyone... I can’t and won’t let them down no matter what. Think about this carefully, because I need you to be completely certain. I know I can do this, it’s my job and I love it. Can you feel the same way with me? That means I can’t not be nice to the fans, there will be some that want more than an autograph or a picture. They can be very resourceful. I need you to understand that for me, it’s a show, I sing… which I love to do…. I don’t handle jealousy well Natty, especially in public. You will need to pull every ounce of everything you have when we are on the road together to not make any kind if scene at all. It would hurt the guys as well. I don’t handle nagging well either private or public, so… even though I know you wouldn’t do that on purpose, stress does make for some out of the ordinary reactions from people. If you don’t think you can handle that, I understand if you don’t want to tour with me and the band. I will miss you dearly. But, I don’t want you to change yourself for me in any way. I love you as you are and what I see for our future. When the band is on tour, our private lives are put on hold. There is no private life for us, just practice, set up, press, public, singing, packing up, going to the next one… sleeping when ever, where ever. It makes all of us grumpy sometimes. If you do come with me…. us…the band… you can’t tell anyone what you see that the public doesn’t. It isn’t fair to the other ladies. They have all learned, some harder than others, that there is the public Il Divo as seen in the press and nothing else. As the public sees us together or finds out who you are, you are going to be asked questions, some may seem innocent, but please, if for no other reason that to protect yourself, don’t answer them. Refer them to the PR rep for the band. I’ll make sure you have all of that stuff soon. Also, all of the others signed a paper agreeing to keep band information private. I… the band… the guys…. need you to sign one too. It’s not that nobody trusts you… believe me… but it’s something the lawyers insist on. I can’t make you sign it…. But I hope you want to. If you don’t want to, I understand, but you can’t tour with us then and you can’t be with me at any promo events in the sidelines. I…..will… can… hope… oh God… this is more difficult than I thought it was going to be” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “This is some of the ugly side of show business…. I hate it, but, I understand why after a few concerts. Either way, I will always love you… no matter what you decide. Signing it would mean you could lose some or all of your private life too. It’s a big decision… an important one… and you must promise me you will consider everything very carefully before you give me your answer.”

With that he sighed and pulled her close to him, tucking her head carefully in now his favorite place between his shoulder and neck. He couldn’t look into her eyes for awhile… he didn’t know if it was confusion, fear, anger, or sadness. He was impatient with himself for rushing her into this, speaking his heart instead of fully thinking it through. He sighed again and reached for her left hand, holding it close. “Don’t say a word Natty… please… not yet anyway… I need to… Oh I don’t know the words… clear my head… gather from deep inside me… prepare for what you might… fear you might… say or worse not say,” and his kissed her hand gently.

Natty had listened carefully while he spoke again. Her mind tried to grasp all of what he was trying to say. She hadn’t thought about telling anyone about their relationship, that was a given for her. She understood the fans and their reactions, because she was one of them. She also knew that the others’ girlfriends or wife had been either professional singers themselves or in the music business. She was the only one that wasn’t. She felt at a disadvantage… alone… different. Signing a contract was not something she had considered. She knew he was a very private person, but to swear to complete and total secrecy was something new to her, not that anyone she knew would believe her. She had kept secrets before, even some of her own, but this was going to be completely different. She felt like a tiny sliver of him had somehow vanished, as his stray tear slid down her forehead. She didn’t want to see that tear, or any others at the moment. She felt his heartache as her own, as she moved her head closer to his neck to hide her eyes and try to quiet her mind.

A few moments later, she felt his shoulders quiver as he let out a gasp. Instinctively, she tightened her arms around him to hold him close, though she still couldn’t bear to look at his face just yet. Her mind continued to race thru all that he had said with echoes of past conversations all jumbled together. As his shoulders began to shake, she left her hiding place tucked beside his neck and looked into his tear-filled eyes. Startled at first, she soon calmed and touched his face gently to wipe away his tears. Sighing, his eyes darted away briefly and then returned to hers. She wasn’t sure she could look at him this way for very long. Carefully, she rolled off of him and onto her back, pulling him to her in the process. As he whimpered softly, she moved his head to her chest and wrapped her arms around him as she tried to quiet him softly.

She spoke just above a whisper as she gently stroked his hair with one hand and patted his upper back with the other. “Hush, my darling… Shhhh, my love… Listen, listen to my heart and its beat will tell you what you want to hear…. Hush…” He seemed to quiet himself, or perhaps had run out of tears, she wasn’t sure. It took several minutes for her to hear his breathing return to a level pace, as they lay there quietly. The sun didn’t seem as bright that morning even though there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. As he waited, she formed the words she would tell him… words from her mind and her heart. She struggled as he had earlier. Soon, she felt he had drifted off as his breathing deepened to longer and longer breaths. Her shoulders seemed to relax as she continued to absently rub her hands up and down his back under the covers she had at some time pulled up to his chin. Suddenly, he rolled over onto the other pillow and continued to sleep. With empty arms now, she stretched and crept out of bed. Quietly dressing, she padded down the hall to the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea. She had lost track of the time and was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the shower start down the hall. Looking at her now cold tea, she signed, stood up from the chair she was sitting in and walked to the sink. She didn’t like to waste anything, but poured it down the drain, thinking it might banish her thoughts the same way.
Over the sound of the shower, she could barely hear his wonderful tenor voice singing. She smiled as she returned her thoughts to the concert - their private one that first special night. She smiled, blushed then tip-toed down the hallway. As she neared the end, his voice became louder. Instead of going into the bedroom, she stopped and looked at the closed door across the hall. Turning, she stood in front if it and touched the cool, smooth surface. It confirmed her mind for her, as she continued to stand there lightly grazing the grained surface with her hands and resting her cheek there, as his voice continued in the background.

She squared her shoulders, decision and words made as she gently kissed this door and turned away. As she entered the bedroom, the shower stopped but his singing continued. Quietly, she looked around and picked up his clothing, folding them as she went. She had tidied up and made the bed as she waited for him to finish. He opened the door to see her sitting on the edge of the bed, staring out the window. He smiled, and walked out with only a damp towel around his slim waist. Turning to see him, she blushed at the sight of his magnificent body and smiled. For today, it was just hers and she meant to make every minute count. He stopped suddenly and posed as if he were on stage, smiling. Again she blushed, smiled and clapped her hands together. Laughing, he politely bowed and continued walking toward her. She stood as he neared and opened her arms to hold him.

As soon as he had kissed her and held her close, a smirk of mischief flashed on Natty’s face that he didn’t see. Quickly, her hands had found where he had tucked the edge of the towel and she tugged hard, pulling the whole towel off of him and flung it across the room. Now it was his turn to blush lightly. She sat down on the edge of the bed as he feigned modesty, laughing. She wanted to look at all of him in the daylight, every inch of him from his head to his toes and he accommodated her desires with Hollywood poses as he could think of them. They laughed heartily together and she clapped and giggled as he posed. Soon, he was rubbing his hands up and down his arms to get warm. She stood to hold him and warm him up too. As she neared, he bent his head to kiss her and look into her eyes.

“Are we going to be okay? “ He said. She kissed him back and touched his chest. Looking into his awaiting eyes, she said, “Yes, I know we are.” And she teasingly squeezed his bare butt.

“Well that’s good to hear. Now, I’m getting really cold, so, either I have to get dressed or you have to get undressed because I’m getting warm one way or the other.” He said. She smiled and started to take off her clothes. He pulled down the covers to the bed and crawled in, watching her as she quickly undressed. The words she had so carefully planned would have to wait. Soon, she was snuggled close beside him as they talked of other things. Their conversation earlier was the farthest thing from his mind. As they talked, the rest of the world seemed to wander by aimlessly. Soon, both were hungry, so they dressed and headed to the kitchen. He didn’t stop to put on the apron she liked so much, but rather pulled out the left over snacks from the night before. They snacked hungrily for a bit, standing at the counter as they had done before. As Natty filled the sink with hot water and soap, he walked into the other room and prepared a small fire in the fireplace. She had the few dishes they had used washed and dried by the time he had returned to her side. Kissing her cheek, he took her hand and led her to the sofa. They watched the fire quietly, sitting side by side in each others arms. As the fire died out, Urs became restless. He stretched and stood, looking out the window. “How about we go outside awhile? It looks like a warm sunny day and I don’t want to be inside anymore unless you do.”

Smiling, Natty rose and stretched too, also letting her eyes fall on the now bright sunshine. They put on their coats and wandered out the back door into the yard. Looking around, Natty noticed the gardens he had planted during his off time. She could see he had prepared them recently for the upcoming cold weather. She made a mental note to research gardening in the event he was touring during the summer so she could look after them while he was away. They walked toward the now bare trees along the well worn path to the little pond they had visited before. They stopped at the edge to watch, arm in arm. He seemed content just quietly looking at the sun’s reflection in the water, as he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. She lifted her chin and kissed him back, then snuggled her face next to his neck with a deep contented sigh. They continued to walk around the pond without speaking, content to take in the warm, sunny day. As the sun slowly set, they too watched it and marveled at its quiet beauty before returning to the cottage.

No sooner were they in the door than the phone rang. Urs checked the called ID and signed. Looking to Natty, he said, “I’m sorry, but I have to take this call.” He picked up the receiver on the kitchen phone as Natty silently nodded and walked into the other room. She wanted to give him some privacy based on the look on his face. While she waited, she strolled around the vast room, looking at the books he had placed here and there on the shelves. “Seems he likes the classics and poetry…” she said to herself. “Interesting… never would have thought that…. Then again, he is a musician… so I guess it fits…” She had already noticed the stacks of motorcycle books and magazines in the bedroom and assumed that was in tune with the book and what she had expected. This was something new for her to explore about him. As she paged thru one of the poetry books, she found one she remembered from high school …. She read it to herself and thought back to those days. Carefully noting the page, she replaced it and continued looking around. Soon, he walked into the room with a frown.

“Seems as if we have a new performance date…. I hate these last minute things.” He blurted out. “ I need to take a few minutes of our time together to pack a bag…. I’ll be leaving for the airport late tomorrow morning for what Seb refers to as a quickie, or what David refers to as a one nighter… Ha!” He looked to the floor, then at her. Natty smiled weakly and nodded. Her plans changed and adapted quickly in her mind.

“May I use your computer a few minutes while you do that? I just wanted to check my email quick.” She said. He nodded and walked across the room to his office. Smiling, she thought to herself, Oh, this must be his Den…” and she chucked softly. He had turned on the computer, typed in a password and pulled out the comfy office chair for her to sit down. As she sat and started to type in the web address, he walked out and down the hall. She figured she only had a few minutes, so she skipped the email and Googled what she needed. Soon, she was hitting the print button and glancing toward the door. He hadn’t appeared yet as she pulled the printed pages out of the tray. Carefully, she scanned them again, wrote on the one before folding it up and sticking it in an envelope. The other, she read and folded in half. She quickly stood, pushed in the chair and walked out of the room, tucking both the envelope and folded papers into her purse. She smiled to herself and rubbed her hands together as she headed toward the bedroom door.

Inside the bedroom, he was busily packing things into a duffle bag. He had grabbed one of the books and magazines from the stack and absently shoved them into the bag. As he finished, she walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his slim waist. She rested her cheek against his upper back and hugged him close. He stopped packing and turned around to face her. He kissed her and hugged her close. I’ll only be gone a few days Love. I’ll be back Saturday afternoon at the latest. May I call you then?” He asked. She nodded and hugged him again.

“I’ll miss you being here, but I’ll watch for reports and pictures in the forum, as always.” She replied. They stood together holding each other, willing time to once again stand still for just them. They spent a quiet night, once again chatting about other things. As it grew late, he yawned and stretched. Natty walked beside him down the hall. He reached to pick her up as he had done before, but her hand stopped him. “Please, not tonight…. Not with what we both have to face tomorrow. I want to be with you, but, please… I won’t be able to make it if you pick me up in your arms right now.” She said as she barely held back the tears.

Sighing, he reached for her chin and lifted it to kiss her deeply on the lips. He held her close and let her walk through the doorway alone. He followed her in and they padded toward their bed. It was supposed to be a place of rest and comfort for them. A place to be as one, but for awhile, it seemed that there were just two lone bodies encamped for the darkness. They undressed themselves in silence. Neither looking at the other, as they crawled in the once happy place. She tried to swallow her fear or let it go at the doorway, but it took her an hour to get past it. He too seemed distant. She figured he was starting to mentally prepare for the new performance. She waited as long as she could. Soon, her desires overwhelmed her as did his. That night neither slept much as they showed the other how much they were loved. As their breathing finally slowed, he drifted off to a fitful sleep. Natty tried her best, but couldn’t seem to get there. Soon, his breathing was long and steady. She crept out of bed, padded down the hall and retrieved the envelope and folded paper. She tucked the envelope in his bag and carried the folded page to the bed, leaving it on nightstand on his side.

Soon, she too had drifted off as the morning sunrise broke into the window. The sudden light awoke him with a start. He looked out the window and checked his watch. He and Natty would still have some time. He rolled over and kissed her forehead. She snuggled close to him, but continued to try to sleep.

As he looked over toward the nightstand, he noticed the page she had left him. Curiously, he opened it and read it…

Dearest darling,
I know you await my answer and I hope this will tell you what is in my heart. I think you might know this poem as it is a dear one to my heart by Emily Dickinson, as are you.

HOPE is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chilliest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Love always and forever,
Natty

He closed his eyes and thought about the poem. Its words and message brought mixed thoughts to him. “Does that mean she accepts it or is she telling me good-bye… I can’t ask her... in case….she… is telling me good-bye… How will I find out? What is she trying to tell me - after today, when I leave for the airport… I won’t see her again? Ever?... No… it can’t be…But she said she loves me… forever and always… yes, those were her words… but… now…” He sighed and read the page again, but still could not glean anything from it. He looked down at her sleeping at his side and he bent down and kissed the top of her head. Slowly, she stirred and he put the page back on the night stand where he had found it. “Maybe if she doesn’t think I found it and read it, she’ll explain or I can tell by her face what she means by this…” he thought to himself.

Through half-opened eyes, Natty yawned and stretched and snuggled tighter against him, hugging his chest and tucking her fingers under his back. She looked up to see his smiling face as he gently kissed her forehead and brushed a stray curl from her cheek. “Good morning darling, did you sleep well?” He whispered, stroking her cheek. “We have to get out of this nice warm bed soon so you can go to work and I can go to the airport to meet the band and do this last minute nightmare with little practice or rehearsals. I just hope the crew brings all the right gear this time… the babes complain if I don’t have the right color microphone in the pictures… Like it even matters to me… I just want it over with and come home… to be with you…” and he lifted her chin to look deeply into her eyes, hopeful that he would see some answer.

He didn’t see her quick glance toward the nightstand, but the letter she had written seemed to be in the same place she had left it. Though disappointed, she had assumed he had just awakened himself and hadn’t had time to notice it. She wanted him to read it as it was her way of being artistic at least in her own mind. She wanted to be romantic in other ways as he had been to her with the necklace, earrings, dress, petals, and the wonderful rose garden. “Oh yes M’Lord, I had the sweetest dreams of you while I slept.” And she giggled softly.

“M’Lord????” He thought. “What? … Did I go to bed with the love of my life only to wake up with a forum chick? … Why can’t women just say what’s on their mind… a clear, straightforward answer? Goodness, all this cryptic stuff.“ As he began to worry that her answer was going to be good-bye after all. He tried to brace himself for that. She instantly saw him bite his lower lip and his eyes faded slightly. Tilting her head to the side a bit, she looked at him again and reached for his face.

“Oh Urs, I’m so sorry, I should have said yes, I did, and ask if you had too… but I see from your face you either didn’t sleep at all or very little.” He held her hand in his and kissed it gently, rubbing the back of her hand against his cheek.

“Here it comes…Like I’ve never heard it before….” he thought to himself, taking a deep breath. “She’s going to tell me what a nice time we’ve had together…. How sweet I was to her… break my heart then say she can’t handle it and keep her mouth shut…. Then leave… Well, okay… Get it over with already… “

Natty was confused by the sudden change in his expression. “Oh, he hasn’t read the note yet. She rolled across him, letting go of his hand for a moment and reached for the single page. As he watched her, he took a ragged breath. “Here…. Read this please… I want you to have my answer in writing, so you know I really mean it.” Hesitating, he took the page and carefully opened it again. He read the first sentence as she stood beside the bed. Looking at her face, he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He glanced back to the page again, slowly and deliberately read the first verse of the poem. She had stepped away from the bed and headed for the doorway. He watched her walk away as tears welled in his eyes. The page fell to the floor as he reached up to run his hands through his hair and try to stop the ache in his heart.

Natty had reached into the bathroom and grabbed the first towel she could find to wrap around her as she headed down the hallway to the bookshelf. Quietly, she pulled the book of poetry from the shelf, walked to the table and placed a white rose petal on the page she had read the day before. Closing the book, she gently kissed it and walked down the hallway. As she looked over, she saw his packed bag. Peeking into the room, she saw his eyes were closed at the moment, so she quickly tucked the book into the top of the bag, checking to make sure the envelope was still close by. As she re-entered the bedroom, she saw his tears rolling silently down his cheeks.

She dropped the towel as she ran to the bed, seeing the page abandoned on the floor. Crawling quickly beside him, she reached for his shuddering shoulders and tucked his head to her chest. His arms lay limply at his side as he wept silently into her shoulder. Tears streamed down her chest as she held him, quietly rocking. She had anticipated he would be happy with her answer, but she hadn’t expected this much emotion from him. It had shocked her at first, but then he was such a sweet guy.

It took him awhile, but Urs was finally able to get himself together and look at her through tear-stained, red eyes. She smiled at him, hoping for a glimpse of his in return. Instead, he tucked his head back down and pushed himself away from her. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the blanked up over his chest and laid his hands near the top to cover himself. Clearing his throat, he said, “So, I guess this is what you have decided then in your own mind… then. “ As his chin dropped to his chest as he looked away from her eyes.

Natty was stunned by his refusal to look at her, as he had always done before when they talked. Her mind raced as she tried to make sense of it…”Could he have misunderstood the poem? No way… he’s an artist for God’s sake… Oh dear… I don’t know… maybe He has changed his mind… Oh Dear God…. Please no…. please no… “

“I guess this last minute event will be a blessing after all Natty… Who would have thought it… I never would have… I’m a planner… so, ummmm….” And his voice trailed off into a big sigh.

Natty sat upright beside him… “Oh…Okay then… ummm I guess you have changed your mind about us and… ummm I will ummmm get my things together and leave then. Just please mail the key to me sometime when you get back …. If it’s not to much trouble… “ and she looked down at her hands. Taking one last, longing look at the ring on her finger, she sighed. Her fingers swelled slightly when they were warm and though they felt ice cold to her, she struggled to try to get the ring off.

He seemed stunned too. Quickly, he reached for her hands and stopped her. Taking each of hers in his hands, he lifted them to his mouth and kissed each finger and palm of each hand as tears fell down her cheeks. “Oh Natty, darling, love of my life… I thought you had changed your mind about me… the guys… the band… and the sacrifice I asked you to make… Oh God, I couldn’t go …. Without knowing… knowing you are still with me… inside. That my job would not…stand between us… Oh Natty, Natty, Natty… I love you so very much it hurts…my heart aches like never before. Please tell me again, though it’s etched into my heart and soul from the first time… the words… please….” As he kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close.

Leaning back slightly, she kissed his chest over his heart and looked deeply into his eyes. Quietly, she whispered, “With this kiss, our hearts are now beating as one… for now, for always. Mine to yours and yours to mine, for without you, I have no heart to beat on its own.” He held her close this time, knowing that his heart was with hers now, no matter what would come. Keeping his chest touching hers, he rolled the both of them over, so he was lying on top of her again. Looking longingly into her eyes once again… he whispered…., “Io ti amo. Si, ti amo. Quanto ti amo. I love you Natty, always and forever. “

They made love again, with a renewed longing. For Natty and Urs, the coming days would be long but they would be together again. She left their cottage quietly and headed to work. Her mind was on the early morning time with him. At lunch, she stepped outside and scanned the horizon. She figured he would be on the plane taking to the skies. He hadn’t said where this new, unexpected performance was taking place, but for it to take days she had assumed some distance. Suddenly, her cell phone rang and she answered. “Yes my love, when you return to me, we will count all the ways I love you.” Looking up in the sky again as she answered, she saw a plane in the distance and, not knowing or caring if it was his, she kissed her hand and blew it toward the fleeting plane.

On board the plane, Urs had the poetry book on his lap, opened at the petal marked page and the pocket watch in one hand. He had found the envelope too and saw it was her signed Confidentiality Agreement. He had thrown it at the band manager earlier. Opening the watch carefully, he sighed and read the inscription again…. Forever and Always…