***** CHAPTER 156 *****

“So how did it go?” Abigail said, as she stood aside so Kristina could enter the apartment.

“It was tough.” Kristina replied, walking in to the lounge and collapsing on to the sofa. “You should’ve seen Luke, Abigail. He was trying so badly to keep it together for Chloe’s sake. But she didn’t even have any idea what was going on.”

“Well that’s understandable.” Abigail said, sitting down next to Kristina. “She’s still young.”

“I know.” Kristina sighed. “And I was beginning to think that was a good thing. But now I can’t help wondering if she’ll remember any of today when she’s older. Or will she even remember Gemma?”

“Of course she will.” Abigail assured her. “She might be young but I’m sure Luke will talk about her everyday and tell Chloe all about her mum. He won’t let her forget her.”

“Oh I know he won’t let that happen.” Kristina smiled. “But will she have any memories of her own? Like you said, she‘s still young, maybe too young.”

Abigail was unsure how to answer, perhaps Kristina was right.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound morbid.” Kristina apologised. “I just came to give you the car keys back and see how you’re doing.”

“How I’m doing?” Abigail said, raising her eyebrows. “Can’t you tell? I’m about to burst! This baby is getting huge.”

“Hey maybe it’s twins.” Kristina chuckled. “Have you ever thought about that?”

“I think if there was another mini Marin in here, the scans would have picked it up by now.” Abigail replied, gently patting her stomach. “Believe me, there‘s only one.”

“I still can’t believe that you don’t want to know what sex the baby is.” Kristina said, shaking her head in amazement. “If it was me, I would want to know straight away.”

“Well you always were the impatient one.” Abigail smirked. “But we’ve waited this long. I think I can wait another five weeks.”

Kristina’s then put her hand over her own stomach, as it growled, reminding her how hungry she was.

“Want to stay for lunch?” Abigail asked, laughing. “And don’t try telling me you’re not hungry.”

“How can I deny it? Kristina laughed. “And thanks, normally I would say yes. But Urs has offered to cook me lunch.”

“Oh!” Abigail said, forming a perfect ‘O’ with her mouth.

“Don’t say ‘oh’ like that! And don’t go getting any funny ideas.” Kristina told her, when she saw the look on Abigail’s face. “It’s just lunch; two people eating together. Okay?”

“Okay.” Abigail said, slowly nodding her head. “Just lunch.”

“You know I should be mad at you, for telling Urs about the funeral.” Kristina said, leaning back on the sofa. “But if I‘m completely honest, it was nice to have someone there.”

“Well you know if it wasn’t for this, I would have come this morning.” Abigail said, pointing to her stomach. “But I just wasn’t feeling up to it.”

“You don’t have to explain.” Kristina smiled. “There’s no way I would have let you come.”

“But you let Urs.” Abigail reminded her.

“Yes, I know.” Kristina said quietly. “But when I saw the look on his face, I didn’t have the heart to say no. I think it was just as tough for him, as it was for me, after he lost Aimee. I even caught him crying a couple of times.”

“Oh crap!” Abigail said, putting her hand to her forehead. “I’m such a klutz sometimes. I completely forgot about Aimee. I‘ll have to apologise next time I see him.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Kristina smiled. “I’m sure he’ll understand. After all, he could have said no.”

“But he didn’t and I think we both know why.” Abigail said, now being serious.

“Yeah, because he felt sorry for me.” Kristina replied. “And I don’t need his pity!”

“Pity?” Abigail said, confused. “Why pity?”

It had to be pity, Kristina thought to herself. What else could it be? Urs had a girlfriend now, so he obviously didn’t do it out of love. Maybe it was out of guilt. Perhaps he just did it to make himself feel better, after ending things so abruptly between them.

“What else could it be?” Kristina said, quietly. She then looked at her sister, tears welling up in her eyes again.

“What’s wrong, Kristina?”

“The funeral… it suddenly came to me this morning, when I was walking around looking at the headstones.” Kristina paused. “Abigail, if you hadn’t been a match, that could’ve been my funeral this morning. I think Urs knew it too. Do you think that‘s why he came?

“Oh Kristina, why do you say such things?” Abigail said, hugging her sister.

“Because it’s true.” Kristina said, now crying. “You might not have been a match. I might not have found another donor, even if I did my body could have rejected the kidney, just like Gemma. Anything could’ve happened.”

“But it didn’t.” Abigail said, hugging her even tighter. “You’re here, you’re alive. I know it’s hard but you’ve got to stop thinking like this. You’ve got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. And yes, that could have been your funeral this morning, but it wasn’t. You’re one of the lucky ones, so make the most of what you‘ve got!”

“I’m sorry, Abigail.” Kristina said, pulling away from her sister. “You’re right but it’s just so hard sometimes.”

“I understand.” Abigail smiled. “But just so you know, Urs came to see me last night, because he was worried about you after you read that letter. It was only then that I told him about Gemma’s funeral.”

“What are you trying to say?” Kristina asked.

“I’m trying to say that… even before Urs knew about the funeral, he was still worried about you.” Abigail replied. “Doesn’t that tell you anything?”

“What did I say?” Kristina said, looking at her sister. “Don’t start that again.”

“I’m not starting anything!” Abigail protested. “All I was going to say is that he obviously still cares for you if he was prepared to put himself through that kind of ordeal this morning. Remember what I said, you‘re one of the lucky ones so make the most of life. And please, you don‘t have to tell me what happened between you and Urs to make you leave London, but just get things fixed so both of you can be happy again.”

“Abigail, I’m really not in the mood to talk about this right now.” Kristina said, wiping her eyes dry. “Can we leave it?”

“Sorry.” Abigail apologised, not wanting to push things too far. She knew all too well why Urs had gone with Kristina. He really did love her but Abigail couldn‘t give the game away just yet. “So…what’s he cooking you for lunch?”

“Spaghetti Bolognese.” Kristina replied, now smiling.

“No way!” Abigail laughed. “He’s getting a bit daring, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he said if I tip it over him again, he’s sending me the cleaning bill.” Kristina said, chuckling. “I’m tempted to do it, just to see the look on his face.”

“Aww you wouldn’t though, would you?” Abigail asked, not quite sure if Kristina was serious.

“Depends if he behaves himself.” Kristina replied.

“I’m sure he’ll be the perfect gentleman.” Abigail replied, just as the phone started to ring.

Abigail looked at the telephone but didn’t move.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Kristina asked, noticing that her sister seemed reluctant.

“Yeah, of course.” Abigail replied, forcing a smile.

Abigail sat staring at the phone for a few more seconds before mustering up the courage to answer it.

“Hello?” Abigail said, warily. No reply. “Hello?”

Abigail then quickly put the phone down.

“Wrong number.” Abigail said, forcing another smile.

“Is everything okay?” Kristina asked, worriedly. “You literally leapt out of your seat when the phone rang.”

Abigail shrugged.

“I’ve just been getting a few odd phone calls, that’s all.”

“What sort of odd phone calls?” Kristina asked. “You mean like heavy breathers?”

“No, nothing like that.” Abigail replied. “I mean… yeah I can hear them breathing but not… you know. Sometimes they hang up as soon as I’ve answered, other times they say nothing and I end up having to put the phone down.”

“Have you told Carlos?” Kristina asked.

Abigail shook her head.

“He’s so busy at the moment and I don‘t want to worry him.” Abigail replied. “It’s probably just kids playing around.”

“You’re probably right.” Kristina replied. But neither of them were convinced. If it was children, they were more likely to dial a random number, not keep ringing the same person over and over.

“You’re not going to be late are you?” Abigail asked, changing the subject. “You don’t want to keep Urs waiting.”

“I doubt it will be ready yet, but you’re right, hardly seems fair being here while he’s doing all the hard work.” Kristina said, getting up from her seat. “Thanks for letting me use the car.”

“Anytime.” Abigail said, carefully pushing herself up from the chair.

“Oh and I almost forgot to tell you…” Kristina said, stopping suddenly. “I quit Cavendish yesterday.”

“You did what?” Abigail said, shocked. “Did you get a better job offer?”

“No, I just decided that I’d had enough of Tyler.” Kristina replied. “I confronted him about the dress and he won’t give me a straight answer. But he’s admitted he wants us to try again. He just won‘t give up.”

“And you don’t want to try again?” Abigail asked, a little surprised as to why Tyler wouldn’t confirm or deny that he was Mr X.

“No, definitely not.” Kristina replied. “And I feel a whole let better not having any more ties to him. I‘m free to do as I please.”

“So what are you going to do for work?” Abigail asked, opening the front door.

“I’ve absolutely no idea.” Kristina replied. “I’ve already printed off several letters, asking around so I guess I wait and see.”

“Well, I’ll keep my ear to the ground, but just one more thing before you go.” Abigail said, as Kristina stepped out in to the hall.

“Yes?” Kristina said.

“Urs didn‘t come this morning out of pity.” Abigail told her. “He did it out of love.”

“Abigail, I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but seriously there’s no need.” Kristina smiled. “We’ve both moved on. He doesn’t care for me anymore and besides he has someone new in his life. I know he has a girlfriend, I’ve seen the interview. Remember?”

“No, he doesn’t.” Abigail said, watching Kristina for a response.

“What?” she said, slowly as she looked at Abigail.

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Abigail replied.

“But… the interview…” Kristina stuttered. “And I overheard you and Carlos talking…”

Abigail shook her head. She hadn’t planned on telling Kristina this way but she couldn’t let it go on any longer. Kristina had to know the truth.

“But I heard you. You said her name was Verity.” Kristina continued. “I don’t understand.”

“He made it all up.” Abigail told her. “It was something he did just to shut up some interviewer. He was sick of people asking him if he had a girlfriend, and of all the strange looks he got when he said no. Me and Carlos only found out a couple of days ago.”

“So Verity doesn’t exist?” Kristina said, faintly.

“Oh she exists.” Abigail replied. “Urs does know a Verity but they’ve never dated. She’s just someone he knows back in Amsterdam.”

“Oh.” Kristina said, quietly as she stared down at the floor. She knew that it shouldn’t make any difference whether Urs was single or not, but for some reason it did. She couldn’t explain it but she felt a sense of relief.

“I guess that changes things a little now, doesn’t it?” Abigail smiled.

“Does it?” Kristina asked.

“Well, you’re still single and now that you know Urs is single….”

“It doesn’t change a thing.” Kristina said, interrupting her.

“Okay, so why did you agree to have lunch with him?” Abigail asked. “You still care for him, don’t you?”

Kristina replied, unable to look her sister in the eye. “I was hungry and he offered to cook. It’s as simple as that.”

“You haven’t answered my other question.” Abigail said, determined to get an answer from her sister. “You still care for him, don’t you? Why won‘t you admit it?”

“I’m going now.” Kristina said, hugging her sister and ignoring her question. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.” Abigail smiled, knowing full well what Kristina’s answer would have been. She knew all too well, that Kristina still loved Urs. “Have fun!”

Abigail closed the door and went to sit back down. These days, with her due date being so close, she grew tired very quickly. As she sat down, she heard a crumpling sound behind her and suddenly remembered the manila envelope which she had hidden behind her cushion just seconds before Kristina had arrived. She leant forward and pulled out the envelope from behind her and stared at it.

Carlos had already left before the post had arrived earlier that morning, so he knew nothing about it; no one did. Abigail had thought about telling Kristina, especially after the anonymous phone calls she had been getting but for some reason, she found herself trying to brush it off, like it was no big deal, just kids playing around. Abigail opened the envelope and pulled out the large glossy photograph. It was taken the day Abigail and Kristina had gone in to town, following the clues that Urs had left. They were both standing next to Guy, the gorilla at London Zoo.

There was no note, with the photo so Abigail was none the wiser as to who had sent it. All she had was the photo – and in thick red marker pen, a big red cross had been drawn across her face. Abigail put the photo back in the envelope. Maybe it was someone’s idea of joke, albeit a bad one. She could put the strange phone calls down to kids playing around, but the photo, this was serious. Except she didn’t know what to do next, or who she should tell. Abigail didn’t want to worry Carlos or her sister, and she wasn’t even sure if the police would take her seriously. She had no idea who had sent it or even why they had sent it. Or did she? One name instantly sprang to mind. It couldn’t be him, could it? She shivered, as a chill ran down her spine, not with cold but with fear. She only hoped to God that she was wrong.

CHAPTER 157


Kristina walked the short distance to Urs’ apartment, thinking about what Abigail had told her and quietly let herself back inside, using the key Urs had given her. So Urs didn’t have a girlfriend, he’d made it all up. She had to admit, knowing Urs was now single did make her feel differently about him again but Kristina wasn’t going to let that influence her decision to remain single. Or was she? She’d been trying to tell herself for months that she didn’t and couldn’t love Urs anymore. She couldn’t let a few kind acts from Urs make her give in to her emotions so easily. She was reading too much in to the situation and Urs was simply being a friend; which suited her just fine. So why did she find herself hoping that it would lead to more than just friendship? Was she already having second thoughts? Was she willing to try again, if that’s what Urs wanted too?

As she placed the keys on the small table by the door, Kristina noticed Urs’ jacket was laying on the floor. It must’ve somehow slipped off the hanger. She bent down to pick it up and the first thing she noticed was the strong smell of leather. Kristina held the jacket close to her and took a deep breath. She could smell Urs, she could smell his scent. All of her senses instantly came to life; his scent brought back a strong yearning. Kristina now had an image of him in her mind. She was taken back to the night when they were together; when they almost became lovers. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt happier, knowing that Urs really did love her and that they could finally be a couple.

Kristina was so lost in her thoughts and her memories of Urs, that she didn’t hear him approaching.

“You’re back!” Urs said, stopping suddenly in the doorway, when he saw Kristina.

“Urs!” Kristina said, startled. “I… your jacket, I found it on the floor, so I… I was just about to hang it up but seeing as you‘re here…”

Kristina thrust the jacket at Urs.

“Is there anything I can do to help in the kitchen?” Kristina asked, bustling past him and not even waiting for a reply.

Urs didn’t say a word, but couldn‘t help chuckling to himself as he hung up the jacket. He was shocked at what he had just seen, but it was enough to fill him with renewed hope and he wasn’t about to spoil it again. Urs headed for the kitchen, which is where he found Kristina; she was standing in front of the cooker and checking on the sauce. He continued to watch her, and once again found himself smiling. She still looked as beautiful as ever; soft tanned skin, blonde wavy hair framing that lovely face and he loved the endearing way she chewed on her lip when concentrating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was finally ready and while Urs was dishing up dinner, Kristina set the table. Neither of them mentioned the incident with Urs’ jacket.

“So when do you start back at Cavendish?” Urs asked, taking off his tie, as they both sat down to eat.

“Actually, I…” Kristina paused, not sure if she should tell Urs what had happened between her and Tyler.

“Krissy?”

“I should’ve started today but…” Kristina paused again. “Well, there was Gemma’s funeral but it didn’t matter anyway, because I quit yesterday.”

“You quit?” Urs said, his eyes widening. “But why? I thought you loved that job!”

“I did. I still do.” Kristina told him. “But there were things that made it impossible for me to stay there.”

“When you say things do you mean Tyler?” Urs asked, warily but curious to know if something had happened between them.

Kristina nodded but didn’t look up from her plate. Urs guessed something had happened between her and Tyler but Kristina didn’t look comfortable talking about it; but then who liked talking about their break ups?

“So what are you going to do now?” Urs asked, sensing that Kristina wasn’t about to go in to anymore details.

Kristina shrugged.

“I start looking for another job.” she replied. “I’d just finished printing off some letters before you arrived last night. But I haven’t got around to posting them yet. Hopefully someone out there will take me on.”

“Why don’t you ask Simon?” Urs suggested. “We both know how disappointed he was when you told him you were transferring to New York. I’m sure he would give you a job.”

“I don’t know.” Kristina frowned, not entirely convinced it was a good idea. To her, it sounded like she would only be causing herself more headaches and more complications.

“It was just a suggestion.” Urs said, when he could clearly see that Kristina didn’t seem very enthusiastic.

“I know, and thanks.” Kristina smiled. “Maybe I will give him a call but let’s see what happens with the others first, okay?”

“Okay.” Urs smiled.

The remainder of dinner was spent in amiable companionship, laughing and making jokes. They talked about little things like Kristina’s previous campaigns at Cavendish, Urs’ job as a bricklayer, childhood memories and even the weather. Things seemed to be going fine until Urs mentioned the time he fell through the ice when he was little, and if his father hadn’t saved him, he wouldn’t be here today. That’s when silence returned, and both of them thought back to Gemma’s funeral.

“Not the most tactful of people am I?” Urs said, smiling nervously.

“Don’t worry.” Kristina smiled back. “It’s life, you can’t avoid it. We just have to deal with it and move on.”

Kristina then placed her knife and fork on her empty plate and sighed with satisfaction.

“That was really good.”

“Try not to sound too surprised.” Urs commented. “I might be a man but that doesn’t mean I can’t cook you know.”

“I’m sorry.” Kristina said, trying not to laugh. “But I think that was even better than my mum’s home cooking.”

“Aww you’re just saying that.” Urs replied.

“No seriously.” Kristina replied. “You’ll make someone a great husband one day. Do you clean and sew too?”

“Is that a marriage proposal?” Urs laughed. “Because if it is, the answer’s no.”

Kristina froze. She didn’t know why but all of a sudden her head was filled with images of Urs on his wedding day and she found herself jealous at the thought of him marrying anyone but her.

Urs stopped laughing when he saw the look on Kristina’s face and realised what he had just said.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Urs stuttered. “I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t marry you…”

“Good.” Kristina replied, now trying to keep a straight face at Urs‘ obvious embarrassment. “Because I don‘t remember asking you.”

“What I meant to say was…was…” Urs stuttered again.

“It’s okay.” Kristina said, interrupting him again. “You don’t have to explain.”

“The answer’s no, I can’t sew.” Urs continued, finally getting his words straight. “But cleaning and marriage… I’m ready, willing and able.”

“Like I said…” Kristina said, putting an elbow on the table and resting her chin on the palm of her hand, now making light of the situation. “…I don’t actually remember proposing.”

“Well, just for future reference.” Urs said, smiling at her.

“Noted.” Kristina chuckled. “Now why don‘t I help you wash this lot up?”

“There’s no need.” Urs said, quickly getting up from his chair when Kristina started to collect the dirty plates and cutlery.

“Yes there is. If I remember right, I never stayed long enough to help you clear away last time.” Kristina replied, glancing at Urs. “And I made twice as much as mess. There’s no way I’m leaving all this a second time.”

“Seriously there’s no need.” Urs said, picking up the empty glasses and following Kristina in to the kitchen. “I bought a dishwasher.”

Urs placed the glasses on the counter.

“See!” Urs pointed. “I bought it a few weeks ago.”

Kristina put the dirty plates on the counter looked in the direction of where Urs was pointing.

“You bought a dishwasher?” Kristina said, now looking at Urs, her eyebrows raised. “You’re a guy living on your own and you bought a dishwasher? Is it really that much for you?”

Urs laughed.

“I’ve been really busy just lately. I don’t always get time to do it. At least with the dishwasher, I can put it all in there and it’s hidden out of the way.”

“I guess so.” Kristina shrugged. “But I still can’t believe you bought a dishwasher. It would only take ten minutes!”

“Okay! Enough about the dishwasher.” Urs said, putting his hands up in defeat. “If you must know, I bought it just in case you came around again and I don’t trust you when it comes to water. I always end up soaked when you go near water.”

Kristina put her hand over her mouth, as she tried to stifle a giggle. She’d forgotten about the incident in her kitchen, where she had covered Urs with washing up water and bubbles.

“So are you going to put those things in the dishwasher?” Urs asked.

“I guess so.” Kristina smirked. “I wouldn’t want you to get worried about a bit of water.”

“It’s not the water I’m worried about.” Urs said, helping Kristina load the dishwasher. “It’s what happens when you come in contact with it.”

Kristina was about to reply with a witty comment but the phone started ringing and her thoughts instantly returned to Abigail and her strange phone calls. Kristina continued loading up the dishwasher while Urs answered the phone.

“That was Josie.” Urs said, returning a few minutes later.

“Josie?” Kristina said, not recognising the name.

“She’s our new publicist.” Urs told her. “She’s nice and she’s good at her job but she’s not as good as you.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Buhler.” Kristina smirked.

“Can’t blame a man for trying.” Urs winked.

“So what did Josie want?” Kristina asked, her skin turning a light shade of pink.

“She wants to know if I can pop in and see her this afternoon.” Urs told her. “Apparently she needs to go over a few things with me and the others, dates and things. She’s got several minor performances provisionally booked and wants to talk them over with us all before she confirms anything.”

“I guess that’s my cue to leave then.” Kristina said, placing the last dirty plate in the dishwasher.

“No, I told her I was busy and Simon already knows about the funeral.” Urs said, quickly. “You don’t have to go.”

“No, I should.” Kristina smiled. “I’ve already taken up far too much of your time and you still have a job to do, unlike me.”

“Well look, if I go now, I’m sure it won’t take long.” Urs said, hoping Kristina would reconsider. “You could stay here and I‘ll be back before you know it.”

“Seriously Urs, I have things to do.” Kristina replied, as her and Urs left the kitchen and headed back in to the lounge. “I still have those letters to post. I really can’t afford to leave it another day.”

“Okay.” Urs said, trying to hide his disappointment.

“But thank you for coming with me today.” Kristina said, surprising herself and Urs as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. “I’m not sure I would have made it through today on my own. It meant a lot to me, to have you there.”

“Krissy, I’ll always be there for you.” Urs said softly, pulling her closer to him. “You should know that by now.”

“Should I?” Kristina whispered, doubtfully.

If that was the case, why did he end their ‘brief’ relationship as soon as he found out she was still sick? Or was he having second thoughts? In the back of her mind, she couldn’t help hanging on to that small piece of hope. Deep down; she wondered if they could turn back time and try again.

“Of course.” Urs said, pulling away slightly but not releasing his hold on her. “I said I would always be there for you, didn’t I? Just because we’re not together, doesn’t mean that I don‘t care what happens to you anymore.”

Kristina looked up at him, completely lost in his eyes, wanting to believe him. But then she quickly lowered her head, as she remembered the note he had left her.

Urs brought his hand up and brushed it over her cheek and Kristina could feel his gaze on her. She took a deep breath, and she could feel her heart beating faster when his fingers lightly brushed her skin. She could never deny the effect he had on her.

“You’re something else, you know that?” he whispered softly.

She tried not to make eye contact, but Kristina instinctively looked up in to his eyes again.

“What do you say that?” she asked.

“You’re one of the strongest women I know.” Urs smiled.

“I‘m not strong.” Kristina said, looking away.

“How can you say that?” Urs asked, placing a finger under her chin and making her look at him. “You’ve been through so much since I’ve known you and you’re still smiling.”

“Am I? Well, I don’t know why because, I have no reason to.” Kristina said, jokingly as she forced a smile. “I’ve just quit a perfectly good job and if I can’t find another one soon, I might have to sell up and move. I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life taking tablets, visiting doctors and being poked and prodded. And to top it all I’ve just been to a friends funeral when it could’ve quite easily been mine. But yeah, I’m still smiling.”

“Oh come on, Krissy.” Urs said, frowning. “You’ve got so many good things going on in your life.”

“Perhaps you’d care to remind me.” Kristina said. “Because at this moment in time; I can’t think of a single one.”

“Okay let’s take your job for instance. Take it as a sign that you’ll find something even bigger and better. And then you have your health. I know it must be hard, but is taking a handful of tablets everyday any real hardship if it keeps you alive?”

“I guess not.” Kristina said, quietly when she knew Urs was right.

“And then there’s Carlos and Abigail’s baby.” Urs continued. “You’re going to be an aunt soon! Just think of all those nights babysitting, practicing for when you have children of your own.”

“I can’t see that happening any time soon.” Kristina said, raising an eyebrow. “I need a man in my life for that to happen and things don’t seem to be going to plan in that department.”

“Well… there’s always me.” Urs said, gently cupping her face in his hands and smiling.

“You?” Kristina said, looking up at him with confusion in her eyes.

What was he talking about? Was he offering her friendship or something more? Kristina suddenly found herself unable to move, wanting him to kiss her, willing him to kiss her, wanting to remember what it felt like to be kissed by him, to feel his lips touching hers again after all this time. She stood staring at his mouth, as she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. Almost as if reading her mind, Urs accepted her unspoken invitation and slowly lowered his mouth to hers; but stopped just millimetres from her lips.

***** CHAPTER 158 *****

It was almost as if he was expecting her to push him away. But she didn’t, Kristina finally gave in to her heart, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him, gently at first, their lips barely touching. But when she felt Urs respond and kiss her back more firmly; she instinctively pushed her body closer to him as he buried his hands in her hair, their kiss deepening. A tantalizing warmth spread through her body as her tongue desperately demanded entry to his mouth, tasting, wanting and savouring the essence of him. The minute her tongue touched his, she was lost in her own little world. She couldn’t remember ever loving or ever wanting someone as much as Urs. Her mind had no room for trying to decide if this was wrong or right; there was only his warm, soft lips, full of tenderness and passion. She couldn’t resist the feel of him against her but already their the kiss was now changing in to something else, as both of them showed glimpses of the passion that they had held in for so long. She reluctantly, but gently, pushed herself away from him.

“I think that’s got to be a first.” Urs said breathlessly, as he loosened his collar.

“What has?” Kristina asked, with a small smile lingering on her now swollen lips.

“We managed to kiss without being interrupted.” Urs quietly chuckled. “Want to try a second time?”

Kristina blushed and lowered her head but as she did she suddenly caught sight of her ring; it was hanging on a chain around Urs’ neck. A flash of fear and confusion swept through her. Why was he wearing her ring? Could he still love her? Or was it a trick? Had he hoped she would see it, making her think that he still loved her? Did he want to hurt her for the way she had treated him? Was it revenge? Did the kiss mean anything to him? Did she mean anything to him? Kristina was now afraid that she had made a dreadful mistake by kissing Urs and that he would tell her it was nothing more than a kiss for old times sake. She was confused and too many questions were racing through her mind for her to make any sense of them.

Urs noticed her frowning.

“What is it?” Urs asked.

“Nothing, I… I have to get going.” Kristina said, hurrying to the door and grabbing her bag and coat. “Thanks again for this morning.”

“Wait a minute.” Urs said, hurrying after her. “Don’t go.”

“It’s okay.” Kristina said, already opening the door. “I’ll let myself out.”

“Krissy!” Urs called out.

Kristina closed the door and she was gone. Urs put his hands in his pockets and let out a heavy sigh. He knew it was too good to be true. Things were going well, they were talking, laughing and kissing; and then something went wrong. Urs turned and looked at himself in the mirror, to see what Kristina had been looking at. The first thing he noticed was Kristina’s ring, as the light hit it, hanging from the chain around his neck. Urs had totally forgotten about the ring. Kristina must’ve seen it but surely that couldn’t be the reason why she rushed off like that, could it? After all they had just been kissing and if she had seen it, surely it would only go to show her that she was still important to him. But the question was, what did he do next? He wasn’t sure if he should follow Kristina, but he didn’t want to make things worse.

Perhaps he would leave it a while and then call Abigail and try and find out why Kristina rushed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristina left Urs’ apartment and started to make the long walk back home. It was several miles to where she lived but Kristina found the fresh air usually helped her clear her head and to think properly. Except today it wasn’t working and she needed answers; like why had she let Urs come with her to Gemma’s funeral? Why did she accept Urs’ offer of lunch? Why was he wearing her ring? But most importantly why did she kiss him? The obvious answer would be because she still loved him but Kristina couldn’t believe that. How could she after the way he had ended things between them? He’d just caught her on a bad day; it was a moment of weakness, that’s why she had kissed him.

Kristina’s thoughts drifted back to the question, why was he wearing he ring? To say she was shocked to see her ring around Urs’ neck, would be an understatement, that‘s why she had left so suddenly. She wasn‘t expecting him to still have the ring and she was confused about what it meant. Kristina remembered giving the ring to him, while he was asleep in hospital. He hadn’t returned it and Kristina simply assumed that it was removed by a nurse or he had thrown it away. But now she knew differently and it only made her even more confused. She could understand him keeping her ring, but to wear it around his neck - did it mean that he still felt something for her? What could she do now? Should she ask him about it? Was he simply wearing it for sentimental value? Or did it mean that he still loved her? And if he still loved her, did he love her enough to try again? Did ‘she’ want to try again? Kristina had so many questions going around in her head and she didn’t know what to do next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now late in the evening and Kristina was laying stretched out on the sofa in front of the television; but she wasn‘t really watching it. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Urs.

Apart from popping out earlier that afternoon when returning from Urs’ apartment, Kristina had been at a loss at what to do. She had no job to go to anymore, which meant she didn’t even have any work to bring home with her. It wasn’t until now, that Kristina realised just how much of her time was taken up with her job. She’d tried to fill in all the gaps in her life with work instead of spending it with that ‘someone special’.

Kristina had thought about going to visit Abigail but she knew they would only end up talking about Urs, and she couldn’t keep showing up on her sister’s doorstep every time she had a problem; it wasn’t fair on Abigail.

Kristina sighed at the predicament she had got herself in to. What on earth had possessed her to kiss him? She knew that they would have to talk sometime, and that she would have to tell him that it was a mistake. Or was it? Kristina was beginning to think it wasn’t, at least not for her. But would Urs feel the same? He certainly didn’t object to kissing her, in fact he had made the first move. She picked up a magazine that was laying on the coffee table beside her, in an attempt to distract herself if only for a short while. She had stopped on the horoscopes page, and was reminded of the time when Abigail took her to see Madame Endora. She didn’t really believe in any of it, until Endora had told her she had to choose between Urs and Tyler; except she never got that chance as Urs made the decision for her. But Kristina still read her horoscope.

~ You’re trying to move on from something that you have invested great love and devotion to. But by doing this, you’re closing your heart to the simple pleasures of life. There’s no point in escaping reality by living in the past and surrounding yourself with nostalgic memories. Painfully honest communication needs to take place but don‘t be afraid of lost hopes, doubt or failure. Reflect on what is truly fulfilling in your life and turn your dreams in to reality. ~


That could mean anything, she thought to herself. She’d given a lot of time and devotion to her career; maybe it meant she should reconsider her resignation. But what if it was referring to her relationship with Urs? The only truly fulfilling thing in her life had been her love for Urs. Kristina decided to sleep on it; perhaps things would seem clearer in the morning.

***** CHAPTER 159 *****

Kristina had woken up early the next morning. Surprisingly, she had fallen asleep very quickly. She would’ve thought that with everything that had happened yesterday, she would be kept awake for ages. But it seemed to have the opposite effect, and she was simply worn out.

As she sat and ate her breakfast, watching the morning news with little interest, her mind wandered back to Tyler and Cavendish. Kristina realised that she needed to write a proper letter of resignation; Tyler could hardly use the scrap of paper that she had given him, as her resignation. It might mean bumping in to him, but she only had to give the letter to Angie; there was no need for her to stay any longer than necessary.

It didn’t take her long to shower, dress, write her letter of resignation and make her way to Cavendish. Kristina was hoping to have at least made it to Angie’s office without running in to Tyler, but it was almost as if he had some eerie sixth sense, because just as she got out of the elevator, Tyler appeared in the doorway.

“Is that for me?” he asked, nodding at the letter.

“What makes you say that?” Kristina asked.

“Because you have no other reason for being here.” Tyler replied, seeing as you no longer work here. “So it must be important.”

“If you must know, it’s my official resignation.” Kristina replied. “I was here to give it to Angie.”

“There’s no need to disturb Angie.” Tyler replied, turning his back on her and walking in to his office.” You can leave it with me.”

Seeing as Tyler wasn’t going to take the letter from her, Kristina had no other choice but to follow him in to his office. She placed the letter on his desk and turned to leave.

“You’re going already?” he said, surprised.

“I only came to bring the letter.” Kristina replied. “Like you said, I have no other reason for being here.”

“You know you could’ve posted it.” Tyler told her. “There was no need for you to come here.”

“I wanted to make sure you got it.” Kristina replied, shrugging. “And I had nothing else to do.”

“Are you sure you won’t reconsider?” Tyler said, his voice softening as he approached her. “I’ll do whatever you ask, just name it. A bigger office, a promotion, a pay rise, a company car? Just don‘t leave Cavendish.”

“When are you going to get the message, Tyler? Money doesn’t interest me.” Kristina told him. “It never did and it still doesn’t; you should know that by now. And if I get a bigger office or promotion, I want it because I’ve worked hard for it. Not because….”

“Not because what?” he said, sharply, raising his voice. “Because you’re sleeping with the boss? Except you’re not are you? And you never have. I‘m beginning to think there‘s something wrong with you.”

“Something wrong with me?” Kristina said, shocked. “Why you…” She raised her hand to slap him but he grabbed both her wrists and pulled her close to him so they were now eye to eye. “I’m beginning to wonder what I ever saw in you.” she hissed, struggling to free herself.

“Are you sure you won’t reconsider leaving Cavendish?” Tyler said, his grip tightening. “I could make it worth your while.”

“Why would I want to stay here with you for a minute longer?” she snapped, finally pulling free from him.

“If there’s one thing that will never change in this world, it’s that money talks.” Tyler said, calmly. “One phone call is all it takes, and I can make sure you never get another job in this industry again.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kristina said, glaring at him.

“Try me.” Tyler said, as he sat on the edge of his desk. “You can have time to think about it, if that’s what you need.”

“I don’t need to think about it.” Kristina said, heading for the door. “There’s no way on earth that I will ever work with you again.”

“I’m serious, Kristina.” Tyler said, quickly getting to his feet. “You walk out that door now and that’s your career finished.”

“Goodbye, Tyler.” Kristina said, not even bothering to look back at him.

“You’ll regret it.” Tyler yelled, as Kristina slammed the door behind her.

***** CHAPTER 160 *****

Kristina entered the elevator and stabbed at the button for the ground floor, and then watched impatiently as the floor numbers blinked on and off on the display panel above her. How could Tyler think that blackmail would get him anywhere? Because that’s what it was; blackmail. But did he mean what he said? Was her career over? Could he really be that cruel or was it just a last ditch attempt at trying to convince her to stay? It was a chance that she had to take, as she knew that she couldn’t give in to him. The nerve of that man; how dare he?

Kristina wasn’t sure what to do next. She was feeling too worked up to go home and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to sit still, the mood she was in. Whether it was a sudden burst of courage or just plain anger and wanting to prove to herself that she was still in control of her own life, she decided to call Urs. Perhaps it was a good thing, because she knew they had to talk and the way she was feeling at the moment, she felt brave enough to get through this.

Before she had a chance to change her mind, Kristina took out her mobile and dialled Urs’ number. The phone call was brief. Kristina explained that she needed to see him, and he agreed they needed to talk. They arranged to meet for lunch at the same place as before, Rays, a few yards down from the Cavendish office.

Kristina had at least three hours to kill, until her meeting with Urs. In that time, she decided that she needed some retail therapy. So three hours later, a cold and exhausted Kristina collapsed in to a large arm chair in Rays. It was getting colder outside and she was thinking perhaps the weatherman was right yesterday, snow could be on the way.

As she sat waiting anxiously for Urs to arrive, Kristina kept staring at the doorway. She felt both nervous and excited. Nervous because they would have to discuss their kiss yesterday and excited because she was looking forward to seeing him again. At exactly 1 o’clock, she saw him arrive. He was wearing a tan coloured suede jacket, a black polo neck and snug fitting pale blue jeans. She could feel her heart beating faster just at the sight of him. He smiled when he saw her and came straight over.

“Hi.” he said, still smiling, as he reached her table.

“Hi.” she smiled back.

“Been here long?” he asked, as he shrugged off his jacket.

“Just a few minutes.” Kristina replied, noticing the how tight his top was, and how it clung to his torso, showing off his physique. She could feel her cheeks growing warm. If she didn’t know any better, she would swear he’d worn that top on purpose.

“Have you ordered yet?” he asked, as he put his jacket over the back of his chair.

“No, I thought I would wait until you arrived.” she replied.

“Okay, well I don’t know about you but I’m hungry.” Urs smiled. “How about we get something to eat? Then we can talk.”

“Okay.” Kristina said, forcing a smile as the nerves started to settle in. She was now wondering what she’d let herself in for.

Urs held his hand out, helping Kristina up from her chair and they went to order lunch. Kristina ended up ordering tomato soup with some warm French bread. When Urs saw how good it looked he decided to have the same.

“Did you remember to post your letters?” he asked, as they both sat down to eat.

“Yep.” Kristina sighed. “Not that it will do much good now, after this morning.”

“Why?” Urs asked. “What happened?”

“I went to Cavendish.” Kristina explained. “I went to give Angie my official resignation but I ran in to Tyler.”

“Oh.” Urs said, quietly. “What did he have to say for himself?”

“Not much.” Kristina said, absently stirring her spoon in the soup. “Just that if I don’t withdraw my resignation, he’ll make sure that I never work as a publicist again.”

“He did what?” Urs said, almost choking as he took a sip of his tea. “Can he do that?”

“Oh he can do anything he wants if he offers enough money.” Kristina said, glancing at Urs. “Money talks and his family have plenty of it. It just takes one phone call from him and pow! There goes my career.”

“Do you think he will?” Urs asked. “I mean… would he really do that?”

Kristina shrugged and let out a heavy sigh.

“I guess I’ll soon find out.”

“You know, you could always talk to Simon about a job, like I suggested.” Urs told her. “I’m sure Simon wouldn’t let Tyler and his money influence his decision about employees.”

“I might be good at my job but I’m not that good.” Kristina laughed, trying to make light of the situation. “Why would Simon employee me, when he could make a quick buck?”

“I think you’re underestimating Simon.” Urs said, seriously. “Simon isn’t like that.”

“I’m sorry, Urs.” Kristina apologised quickly. “I didn’t mean it that way. I guess I‘m just feeling a bit cynical at the moment.”

“It’s alright, I understand.” Urs smiled.

Kristina smiled back at him.

“Thanks. So… how did it go with Josie yesterday?” Kristina asked, diverting the conversation away from herself. “Has she got anything good lined up for you guys?”

“Yeah there’s a few things that look quite promising.” Urs said, cheerily.

Urs then began to tell Kristina about the shows that Josie had lined up for them. She was doing her best to concentrate on what Urs was telling her but her mind was else where. She was worried about Tylers threat and her future career.

“Krissy?”

“Huh?” Kristina looked at Urs.

“Did you want me to get you another cup of tea?” Urs asked, nodding at her empty cup.

“No, thanks.” Kristina said, shaking her head. “I’m fine for now.”

Urs then looked down at the floor, and noticed all of Kristina’s shopping bags.

“Should you be buying all that?” Urs asked, nodding at the bags.

“Probably not.” she quietly laughed. “But I needed some serious retail therapy, and it might be the last chance I get for a while.”

Silence then fell between them; that was until Urs caught Kristina staring at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning.

“Nothing.” she smiled. “I was just admiring your designer stubble. Is it part of your new image?”

“It’s just something I’m trying out.” he grinned. “I believe all pop stars look like this. It’s supposed to make them look sexy.”

“Sexy?” she chuckled. “Okay, whatever you say.”

“You don’t like it?” he asked, running his fingers over the stubble.

“I’m not really in to pop stars anymore.” Kristina said. “I prefer my men to be a little older.”

“Not too old I hope.” Urs said, casually. “Else I might as well give up now and go home.”

“I wouldn’t do that just yet.” Kristina said, feeling brave and flirtatious again. “We still need to talk about yesterday.”

“I know. But I didn‘t think you‘d want to.” Urs said, quietly. “That’s why I was surprised when you called me.”

“Why?” Kristina asked, curiously.

“Because after we kissed, you couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough.” Urs told her. “I figured if I asked you about it, you’d just say it was a mistake.”

Kristina took a deep breath and decided that she had nothing left to lose. She would tell Urs the truth about how she felt.

“What would you say if… if I told you that it wasn’t a mistake?” Kristina said, cautiously. “What if I told you that I wanted you to kiss me? Would you believe me?”

“Maybe if you let me kiss you again.” he ventured tentatively. “Then I might believe you.”

“Urs.” Kristina said, blushing. “I don’t think this is the time or the place.”

“Well in that case, why don’t we go somewhere else?” Urs suggested. “It doesn’t have to be far because I only have an hour for lunch. But we could go for a walk.”

“Okay.” Kristina agreed. Urs helped her with her bags and they left Rays and made for the park.

It was getting cold again; the sky was an odd grey colour. Kristina wrapped her scarf around her neck and gave a small shiver.

“Cold?” Urs asked.

“A little.” Kristina replied. “Aren’t you?”

“I am a bit.” Urs laughed. “I didn’t exactly come dressed for walks in the park in wintertime.”

“Your idea, not mine.” Kristina reminded him.

“I know.” Urs smiled, slipping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to his side. “But I don’t regret it for one minute.”

They walked for several minutes, talking about their day so far when Urs suddenly stopped and took hold of Kristina’s arm.

“Would now be the right time and place to ask for another kiss?”

“I… I guess so.” Kristina said, as a shy smile lit up her face. She then glanced around to see if anyone was watching them.

“What’s wrong?” Urs asked. “You’re not embarrassed about anyone seeing us kiss are you?”

“Of course not.” Kristina said, unable to stop herself from blushing.

Urs moved closer so that he was now standing directly infront of Kristina. He slowly leaned in and gently brushed his lips over hers with such tenderness that it sent waves of desire coursing through her body. Before Kristina could stop herself, her tongue slipped in to his mouth, hungry for the taste of him again. Moments later, they pulled away, both unable to hide the huge smiles on their faces.

“So do you believe me when I say that I wanted you to kiss me?” she asked, softly.

“I believe you.” Urs whispered.

“Good!” Kristina whispered back. “Because if you were going to ask me to kiss you again, I was going to make you shave off that beard. It’s like rubbing your face up against sandpaper.”

Urs threw his head back as he let out a loud laugh, that she loved so much.

“I think I can do that, seeing as it’s you.”

“Urs, can I… can I be serious for a moment and ask you something?” Kristina said quietly.

“Sure.” he replied. “What is it?”

“My ring… I saw you wearing it on a chain yesterday.”

Urs instinctively put his hand up to his neck. He could feel the outline of the ring under his top.

“Why are you wearing it?” Kristina continued.

“Because you gave it to me.” Urs replied.

“And?” she prompted. “Is there any other reason?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Urs smiled.

“I…I need to hear you say it.” Kristina said, now scared that Urs would tell her that the kiss was all a big mistake.

“And…because I still love you.” Urs said, quietly as he reached up with one hand and gently caressed her cheek. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Kristina nodded slowly.

“And do you still love me?” Urs asked, quietly.

“I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you.” she said, as they turned and continued slowly walking.

“So what now?” Urs asked, as he took some of the bags from her and slipped his hand in her now empty hand. “Does this mean we’re going to give things another try?”

“I want to, if you want to.” Kristina smiled, glancing at Urs. “But there’s still a lot of things we need to talk about first.”

“You mean like why you left me without a word.” Urs said. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you, Krissy. I know you must have had good reason and I forgive you.”

“You what?” Kristina yelled, suddenly spinning round to face him. “You forgive me? I don’t believe I’m hearing this!”

Kristina could feel the anger building up inside her; she knew things were too good to be true. It was all going downhill again.

***** CHAPTER 161 *****

“Don‘t be like that.” Urs said, squeezing her hand. “Like I said, I know you must have had your reasons for leaving but none of it matters.”

“Damn right I had my reasons for leaving.” Kristina said, shaking her hand loose from Urs. “And if you think none of it matters then you need your head examined. Why would i stay when you made it perfectly clear that you weren’t interested.”

“Why on earth would you think that?” Urs asked, puzzled.

“Are you serious?” Kristina asked, not quite believing what Urs had said. “I left because of you.”

“Me? But why?” Urs said, raising his eyebrows. “What did I do? I thought things were going great with us. Next thing I know, you’ve upped and left and you’re on a plane back to New York with Tyler!”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me.” Kristina said, defensively. “You’re the reason I ‘upped and left’ as you put it. That was your doing, not mine!”

“Well, well, look who it is. If it isn’t my favourite couple. Please don’t tell me the young lovers are arguing.”

Kristina and Urs turned to see none other than Marius watching them.

“Just ignore him, Krissy.” Urs told her, lightly taking hold of her elbow and leading her away.

“What’s wrong?” Marius asked, following them. “Aren’t you even going to say hello?”

Urs stopped suddenly and turned, glaring at Marius.

“Give me one good reason why I would want to talk to you?”

“Thought you might want to know what I’m doing in England.” Marius said, causally shrugging.

Urs didn’t reply, he continued to stare at Marius.

“Well, seeing as you’re not going to ask, I’ll tell you anyway. I’m here on business.” Marius continued. “Someone saw my paintings and they’ve offered to show them in one of their galleries, so you could be seeing a lot more of me.”

“I don’t think so.” Urs said, turning again to leave.

“Hey, what’s the rush?” Marius asked, grabbing hold of Urs’ arm. “Can’t wait to get her alone, is that it?”

Urs dropped the bags and suddenly lunged for Marius, grabbing him by the throat with both hands and slamming him against a tree.

“What did I tell you?” Urs hissed. “What did I say I would do if you ever came near us again?”

“Now let me see if I can remember.” as he grabbed Urs’ hands and pushed him away. “Something about killing me?” Marius snorted. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Urs said, grabbing Marius again, his fist now inches from his face and shaking with fury.

“Go ahead, hit me!” Marius spat. “See where it gets you. You’ll end up spending the night in a cell, courtesy of the Queen and I bet Mr Cowell would love that.”

“Just leave him, Urs.” Kristina said, pulling on Urs’ jacket. “He’s not worth it. Please. Let’s go.”

“That’s right, listen to the little lady.” Marius sneered. “I’m sure she’ll reward you for it later and we all know how, don’t we.”

“I can see you haven’t changed a bit.” Urs said, through gritted teeth.

“Me? It’s not me that’s changed but you and I blame her.” Marius replied. “You changed when you met her. Actually I’m surprised to see you two still together.”

Urs looked at Kristina, each giving the other a knowing look. Neither of them were about to let on to Marius, that up until a few minutes ago, they hadn’t been a couple.

“Why would you think that?” Urs asked, turning his attention back to Marius.

“Well, if I’m totally honest, I was hoping that note would have been the nail in the coffin, so to speak.” Marius replied.

“What note?” Urs asked. “What are you talking about?”

“The one that….oh I get it!” Marius said, now laughing. “You still don’t know. Well this just makes things even more interesting.”

“Will you tell me what the hell you’re talking about.” Urs shouted.

“She knows what I‘m talking about.” Marius said, nodding towards Kristina.

“Do you?” Urs asked. “Do you know what note he’s on about?”

“No, I… I don’t.” Kristina replied, confused.

“Oh come on, we both know that’s not true.” Marius said, pulling himself free from Urs’ grip and approaching Kristina until he was standing just inches from her. “The night of the Ball, the letter left with reception… and the reply.”

“The reply?” Kristina mumbled.

“My reply.” Marius whispered, as a smug grin appeared on his face.

It was only then, that it dawned on Kristina. Marius was the one that had sent her the note saying ‘sorry’. But if he wrote that note, then he must’ve read the one she wrote to Urs. Which meant Urs didn’t know anything about her illness and had no idea why she left London.

“See, I told you.” Marius sneered, when he saw the look of understanding on her face. “She knows what I’m talking about.”

“Krissy?” Urs said, looking at her inquisitively.

“We should go.” Kristina said, quietly. She was starting to feel sick.

“You mean I’m going to miss all the fireworks?” Marius asked. “After all my hard work.”

“Krissy, what’s he talking about?” Urs said, now worried.

“Nothing. Let’s just go.” Kristina replied, as she picked up the bags that Urs had dropped and hurried on.

Urs took one final look at Marius.

“I meant what I said, Marius. If I found out you’ve hurt Krissy again, I swear I’ll kill you.”

“I think you’d better run after the little lady.” Marius sneered.

Urs shook his head in disgust and ran to catch up with Kristina. Neither of them spoke, until they had reached Kristinas house. Kristina unlocked the door and they both went inside.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Urs asked, unable to bear the silence any longer.

“It was nothing important.” Kristina replied, placing her shopping bags in the hallway.

“I don’t believe that for a minute.” Urs told her. “It has to be important else Marius wouldn’t have brought it up. Are you going to tell me what that was in that letter?”

“Not now.” Kristina said faintly, as she slipped off her jacket and hung it up.

“I need to know.” Urs said, as he became more and more curious. “He said it was a letter you wrote and he mentioned a reply. Who was the letter for?”

“Leave it, Urs.” She said, walking in to the lounge and sitting down on the sofa. “I said it’s not important.”

”Does it have anything to do with why you left London?” Urs continued. “If Marius has anything to do with this, then it can’t be good. Please tell me. Perhaps I can help.”

“This conversation is over, Urs.” Kristina said firmly.

“Kristina, I’m not going anywhere until we talk.” Urs said, shaking his head adamantly.

“Will you please do as I ask?” Kristina yelled, getting back up from her seat. “Why can‘t you leave it alone?”

Suddenly Kristina felt a shooting pain in her head and the room started spinning. Everything went black and she couldn’t see a thing.

“Krissy, are you okay?” Urs said, when Kristina leant forward and reached out for the mantelpiece.

“Get out…” Kristina mumbled.

“What’s wrong?” Urs asked, now worried.

“Just get out!” Kristina said, shouting this time.

“Are you mad?” he said, grabbing hold of her as she started to sway. “I’m not leaving you alone like this.”

“Then call David.” Kristina told him. “Or Carlos. Anyone. But I don’t want you here.”

Urs could see she was upset and didn’t want to make things worse, so he went out in to the hall to call David. Meanwhile; Kristina was still holding on to the mantelpiece to steady herself. She wanted to sit down but she felt disorientated. It was almost as if someone had switched the light off and she wasn’t sure of her surroundings anymore.

“Please…not yet.” she thought, closing her eyes tightly. “Not yet.”

***** CHAPTER 162 *****

When David arrived, Kristina was sitting in the front room, staring in to space – her vision had returned. But she refused to talk to David until Urs left. After much protesting from Urs, David managed to convince him that Kristina would be fine and he would call him later to let him know what was going on.

“So what is it?” David asked, handing her a glass of water. “Is it a migraine? I know you’ve been getting headaches just recently.”

Kristina shook her head and smiled weakly.

“No, it’s a bit more serious than a migraine. Do you remember those headaches I used to get years ago?”

“Yeah, the ones you kept secret from me.” David replied. “All because you didn’t want to go to the doctors.”

“Well, I wasn’t feeling too good a while ago. When we got back from Italy I went for a check up and they found something.”

“Italy? But that was months ago.” David frowned. “That was before you left London. Do you mean to say that you’ve known something was wrong all that time and you didn’t tell me?”

“I’m sorry David.” Kristina said, lowering her eyes to the floor. “I’ve only told one person and that was Natty. I made her promise not to tell anyone. But my headaches… if they get any worse, I could lose my sight.”

David took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“So Urs doesn’t know.” David asked, softly.

Kristina slowly shook her head.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I did. I wrote a letter telling him but… oh David, I’m so stupid, so stupid.” Kristina said, lowering her head, as the first few tears started to roll down her cheeks. “I’ve messed up big time again.”

“Oh come on, Krissy.” David said, kneeling infront of her and pulling her in to his arms. “It can’t be that bad. I’m sure that whatever it is, it can be fixed. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

Kristina shook her head, while quietly crying.

“Please, Krissy.” David whispered. “A problem halved is a problem shared, isn’t that what they say? Come on, I might be able to help.”

“You can’t.” Kristina mumbled. “The damage has already been done and it’s all because I let Marius fool me again.”

“Marius?” David said, warily. “Where does he fit in to all of this?”

Kristina took a deep breath and tried to calm herself before finally telling David about the note she wrote for Urs, telling him of her illness, giving him a choice to end the relationship and then the reply she received believing it was from Urs; when in fact it was from Marius.

“I should’ve let Urs punch his lights out when we found out what he’d been up to the first time.” David said, curling his lip in disgust.

Kristina let out a heavy sigh. She had no idea what to do next.

“So I take it that with Urs being here, you’re both talking again.” David commented.

Kristina nodded.

“Everything was going great until we bumped in to Marius. We were going to give things another go.”

“You still can, can’t you?” David asked. “Nothing’s changed.”

“You’re forgetting about the letter.” Kristina told him. “Urs still doesn’t know about my headaches and the reason why I’ve been getting them.”

“So why don’t you tell him now?” David asked. “By the sound of things you two were getting on fine until Marius showed up. Surely Urs deserves to know.”

“David, I know you mean well but please…”

All of a sudden; her vision started to blur and her eyes started to hurt again, like pin pricks behind the backs of her eyes. Kristina dropped the glass of water on the floor and put her hands to her face, pressing the heel of her palms to her eyes, trying to ease the pain but it became worse. She could feel herself shaking, but she wasn’t sure if it was because of the pain or the fear. She knew there was a possibility she could lose her sight, but she was on medication and everything had been fine up until now, the doctors said she was doing well. Kristina had convinced herself that if it ever came to it, and that she did lose her sight, she was prepared for it. But she started to tremble even more and could feel the bile rising in her throat. This only went to prove the opposite, she wasn’t ready; it was fear.

“Okay that’s it.” David said, standing up and reaching for the phone. “I’m calling Carlos. He can let Abigail know that I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“No don’t.” Kristina said, panicking. “Please don’t. I don’t want to worry her, especially in her condition. And besides, there’s no point. They can’t do anything.”

“Maybe not.” David said, pulling his mobile out of his pocket. “But I’m not taking no for answer this time. We’re going to get you checked out.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristina and David weren’t at the hospital very long. Just as Kristina had explained to David, there was nothing they could do for her. They could change the dosage of her medication and see if it helped but there was nothing they could do for the pain. They urged her to get plenty of rest and not to let herself get upset. They explained that stress can release certain chemicals in the body which increase a person’s blood pressure, which in turn, makes their heart beat faster and causes the blood vessels to constrict. That’s probably why she lost her vision temporarily.

Kristina knew she should get some rest but after David had dropped her off home, she found herself walking the two miles in to town. A short while later, she somehow ended up standing outside Truly Scrumptious; Madame Endora’s sweet shop.

Finally finding the courage to go inside, Kristina opened the door and a small bell jingled. There was no one in the small sweet shop and Kristina was about to turn and leave, thinking that perhaps she had made a mistake by coming here. But she was caught leaving.

“I didn’t expect to see you again.”

Kristina instantly recognized the voice as being Madame Endora’s. She turned and smiled nervously at Madame Endora, who was peering out from behind a curtain separating the back room from the shop.

“Hi.” Kristina said quietly.

“Are you here to see me?”

Kristina nodded.

“You’d better come through then.” Madame Endora said, as she held the curtain back and waited for Kristina to enter the back room. She then gestured for Kristina to sit down. “It must be important for you to come back.”

Kristina didn’t speak. She still couldn’t believe she had come back here and she wasn’t even sure why.

“So what can I do for you?” Madame Endora asked, when they were both seated.

Kristina shrugged off her jacket and laid it across her lap before answering.

“To be honest, I’m not quite sure what I’m doing here.”

“Well something must have happened for you to come back.” Endora replied.

“Something has happened but…”

Kristina hesitated. What was she doing here? What could Madame Endora tell her that she didn’t already know? She now knew that she’d made a mistake by leaving London. She knew that if she stood any chance of saving her relationship with Urs, she had to tell him the contents of the missing letter. But she had no idea how she was going to tell him. Madame Endora couldn’t give her those answers.

“I’m sorry. I’ve made a mistake.” Kristina said, hurriedly getting up from her seat. “I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“Wait! Don’t leave.” Madame Endora said, as she reached for Kristina’s hand. “Why don’t you tell me what’s troubling you?”

“”Like I said, I’ve made a mistake.” Kristina said, slipping her jacket back on. “I don’t even know why I came here.”

“You came here because you need answers.” Madame Endora said, reaching round to get something from the drawer behind her. “Why don’t you sit back down?”

Kristina turned around to see Madame Endora neatly placing a deck of tarot cards in the centre of the table.

“I’ll start when ever you’re ready.” Madame Endora, said waiting patiently.

Kristina stared at the cards. What did she have to lose? She nodded slowly for Madame Endora to begin.


“This is a time to be courageous.” Endora said, after turning the first card over. “It’s a time to grasp every chance that comes your way. You’ve already taken the first few steps to alter the whole course of your future but you need the courage to see it through else you could lose it again.”

Kristina stood staring at Endora as she continued to turn over the cards.

“Is any of this making sense?” Endora asked.

Kristina nodded, and slowly took her seat back at the table. Madame Endora turned over more cards.

“This will be a time when you have to make some important decisions. It could be a new job, a move, a baby or even marriage. But you should avoid acting on impulse and make sure that you allow plenty of time to realize the full implications of your choices.”

Kristina sat staring at the cards on the table. She knew exactly what they meant. If she wanted to keep Urs, she had to tell him the truth; Kristina had to tell him the contents of the letter if they had any chance of staying together. She had to be honest with him; there could be no more lies or secrets between them. As for the important decision and acting on impulse; well she had already acted on impulse and quit her job, so maybe it meant considering Urs’ suggestion that she ask Simon for a job.

“Does that help?” Endora asked.

“I think I already knew the answers.” Kristina smiled. “I just had to be sure I was doing the right thing.”

“You don’t need a pack of cards to tell you how to manage your life.” Endora told her. She then reached over the table and took hold of Kristina’s hand, and placed it on her chest. “You need to listen to your heart and not the voices in your head. The voices will only confuse you and mislead you but your heart; your heart will never betray you. If you’d listened to me the first time, you wouldn’t be here now.”

“I know.” Kristina said, getting to her feet. “And I know what I have to do now.”

“You know, you have nothing to worry about.” Endora said, reassuringly. “He loves you unconditionally and he’ll stand by you no matter what.”

Kristina left Madame Endoras feeling stronger than ever. She knew what she had to do and now all she had to do now was work out how and when she was going to tell Urs.