Chapter Forty




The sound of the shower going woke Fara up a second time. Amelia was still sleeping. Urs came out of the bathroom.
‘Morning darling’ he smiled, a towel wrapped around his waist, another he was using to rub at his wet hair, droplets of water falling onto his shoulder.
‘Morning…’ Fara yawned, ignoring the ‘darling’ part. She attempted to glare at him, but failed. Sleep was still in her eyes, blocking her vision properly.
‘What do you want to do today?’ Urs asked, sitting on the bed next to her.
‘Nothing’ Fara tried not to, but it came out as a spat.
‘Nothing?’ he asked, surprised at that response.
‘Apart from getting your permission, then we can go home’
‘Permission?’ Urs, puzzled, asked.
‘So Marcus can adopt Amelia’
‘But I thought…after last night…’
‘Last night, was a mistake’ Fara sighed, moving away, out of the bed, away from him. She grabbed her jeans from the floor and pulled them on, feeling better not being completely naked with Urs while they were having this argument.
‘A mistake?’
‘I was tired…weak’ Fara shrugged.


But I thought…’ Urs mumbled, staring at her.
‘That what?’ Fara asked.
‘That we were…back together’
‘Back together? We were never together in the first place’
‘But Amelia. She’s my child’
‘Yes, and?’
‘My child. My flesh and blood’
‘Yes, and?’ Fara asked again.
‘You and I…we made her. Together’ Urs reminded Fara.
‘I don’t see…’ Fara started to say.
‘Like last night. When we made her brother or sister’ Urs interrupted her.
‘We didn’t…’
‘You’re on the pill then?’ Urs asked, looking at her, interrupting her again, staring almost.
‘No, but…’
‘Because we didn’t use anything’
‘So?’
‘You might be pregnant again’
‘I won’t be’
‘You might….’
‘I won’t’ Fara interrupted him this time, ‘I…I can’t have any more children’ she lied then.
‘You can’t…?’
‘No’
‘Prove it to me’
‘What?’
‘I said, prove it to me?’
‘But I can’t…’
‘Then you and Amelia will stay with me’
‘What? For how long?’ Fara, amazed at this, asked.
‘For a month at least’
‘What for?’
‘Until you can prove, that you’re not pregnant again, with my child’
‘You don’t believe me?’ Fara asked.
‘Of course I don’t believe you’
‘Why not?’
‘Because you’ve lied before’
‘I haven’t’ Fara huffed.
‘You have’
‘When?’
‘You lied, when you told me that you don’t love me’
‘I never….’
‘You did’ Urs interrupted.
‘How?’ Fara then challenged.


‘I know you love me. I can see that you love me’
‘No you can’t!’ Fara laughed.
‘Yes I can’ Urs coolly replied.
‘How? Prove it to me then?’ Fara challenged again.
‘Look at me’ Urs moved closer to her as he spoke.
‘That’s it?’
‘Look at me’ Urs repeated, ‘in my eyes’
‘Ok’ so Fara looked. Into Urs’ eyes. Deep into them.
‘You love me’ Urs told her.
‘I don’t…’
‘You do. Your eyes tell me’
‘They don’t…’
‘Oh yes they do. And your heart beat…’ Urs reached out a hand, placing it over Fara’s heart.
Fara’s heartbeat sounded too loud in her own ears.
‘Touch me..’ Urs whispered to her.
Fara found herself reaching out a hand, touching Urs’ heart now. It seemed to be beating fast. Too fast.
‘See?’ Urs asked, ‘you do that. You make my heart beat like that. Like yours is doing’ he added.
‘That…that doesn’t prove anything’ Fara whispered, her voice trembling as she spoke.
‘Oh no?’ he asked, moving his head closer. He was just about to kiss her when Amelia woke up.


‘Mummy…?’ Amelia asked, opening her eyes.
Urs groaned and let Fara go. Fara also let out a groan.
‘I’m here darling’ she told her daughter, turning to face her.
‘Daddy…?’ Amelia then asked, noting Urs standing next to her mother.
‘I’m here’ Urs nodded, smiling at her, his daughter.
Amelia smiled shyly back.
‘Come on sweetie, time to get up and go’ Fara told Amelia, picking her up out of the bed.
‘Go where?’ Urs asked.
‘England’ Fara replied, while in the process of dressing her daughter in yesterdays clothes.
‘Back to Marcus?’
‘He does live in England’
‘I’m not letting you go’ he whispered.
‘You can’t stop me. Us’ Fara had finished dressing her daughter now. She started brushing her hair.
‘As I said, you’re to stay with me. For a month’
‘You can’t be serious?’
‘Until I know one way or another’
‘You can’t make me. Us, stay with you’
‘Oh. But I can’ Urs smiled.
‘How?’ Fara challenged, dropping the hairbrush and now holding her daughter close in her arms.
‘Earlier, when you were asleep, I found your passport’ Urs slightly lied.
‘You….’
‘I removed it. Without it, you can’t leave’
‘But I have a deadline…’
‘We will be leaving here, but together’
‘To go where? England?’ Fara asked.
‘No. America’
‘Why there?’
‘We have a tour to do’
‘I have work!’ Fara complained.
‘You’re an author’ Urs reminded her.
‘I need my laptop. Amelia needs her toys...her things….’ Fara tried.
‘Those, can be arranged, to be delivered to us’
‘Amelia has nursery…’ Fara then tried.
‘Missing a month won’t hurt’
‘I’ll lose her place there…’
‘We’ll find a better nursery then’
‘I liked that one…Amelia like that one..’ Fara tried again.
‘Then I’ll pay them, to keep her place open’
‘They don’t do that’
They will for me’ Urs smiled.
‘So you can kidnap me? Us?’
‘So I know if our next child is on the way or not’
‘Why? Why are you doing this?’
‘I’ve already missed out on being a father once. You’re not letting me miss out again’
‘You could be a father, with someone else…’
‘No’
‘Why not?’
‘I love you’ Urs sighed.
‘You might fall in love with someone else, in time’
‘You were gone for nearly three years. I met a lot of women in that time. But it never happened’
‘Why not?’ Fara asked again.
‘Because no one can match up, no one can compare to you’
‘What’s so special about me?’
‘I don’t know’ Urs admitted, ‘but I know I love you, that I need you here, with me…I can’t be me without you’
‘That, makes no sense’ said Fara.
‘I don’t care if it makes sense. Its how I feel. Deal with it’
Urs stared at Fara. Fara stared back at him.
‘Amelia and I…we still need our stuff’ Fara then spoke, reminding him. Was she actually agreeing with him? To stay with him? To her own ears it sounded like she was. What on earth was she doing? She should be objecting. Complaining. Fighting. Not agreeing with him! She didn’t want to stay with him. She had things to do back in England. People to see. A fiancé to be getting on with. A life. A purpose. She couldn’t just give it all up like this for a month so Urs would know one way or another if Fara was lying, about being pregnant or not. Fara didn’t even know yet herself if she was. It had been a long time since she had last seen Urs. That was her excuse for her sleeping with him again. Nothing else. No feelings involved. Not anymore. There couldn’t be any. It had been too long. Too long.
‘You’ll have whatever you need when we reach America’
‘And Amelia’s nursery placement…?’ Fara then asked.
‘I’ll deal with it’ Urs reassured her then.
‘Good’ she nodded.
‘Good’ Urs nodded back. Round one to him.