Chapter 283:

Lisa poked her head into their bedroom, looking for Seb and only found his suitcase and carryon open on the bed, partially filled with what he would take with him when he left tomorrow.

She went to her dresser and pulled out a wrapped package and slipped it between some of his clothes where he would be sure to find it. She had gotten a copy of a picture of them all that was taken in front of their Christmas tree in Paris on Christmas morning. It had plexiglass in it instead of regular glass so it would stand up to all of the traveling.

She ran her hand over one of his shirts as she tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat. She was trying so hard to be brave. He didn't need to see how upset she was that he was going and for so long this time. There were no guarantees of a return home in the near future. He and the other guys had promised to try their best to have a few days break before the actual tour started the third week of February, but they just had no way to know if it would actually be possible.

Making this even harder was the announcement yesterday by Vicki and Alex that they and their children would be occasionally joining their husbands on the tour once it started. The promotion schedule was so uncertain that there was no sense in going with them now but, once the actual tour began, they would pretty much have a daily routine as they travelled.

Lisa knew that it would also make Seb's homesickness worse for everyone else to have their ladies and children with them when he couldn't.

They both had seen how difficult it would be to travel with all of the children and there was the matter of Jeremy and Holly's schooling. People did home schooling of course but wouldn't such an upheaval be bad for the children when they were just now getting totally comfortable with their new lives. In her head, she knew that it was not a possibility but her heart wanted so badly for them to figure out how they could possibly work it out, at least some of the time.

With a deep breath to get herself under control, she went searching for Seb. She thought he was up here packing and hadn't seen him come downstairs.

After checking the downstairs, she went outside and saw Jim talking to Jeremy and Brandon in the yard. She approached them and asked if they had seen Seb. Jim told her that he had seen Seb go into the music building a short time ago. She thanked him and headed that direction.

After she stepped through the door she stopped to listen to see if she could tell where he was. It was totally silent. She looked through the glass in the recording booth and the lights were all of and it was empty. The doors to the instructional rooms were shut and locked as they always left them when they weren't in use. She made her way to the back of the music part of the building and finally found him in the conference room, no lights on and leaning back on the overstuffed leather sofa, his hand covering his eyes.

“Seb? Are you alright?”

He sat up with a start and wiped his face with his hands, like he thought he could hide his distress from her now.

He held out his hand to her and she took it and sat next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Neither spoke for some time. They both knew what the problem was. No words were necessary.

Seb spun around and laid his head in her lap and she slowly stroked his head, massaging his scalp as she knew he liked.

“We'll be alright, won't we Seb? With all of the technology we have, it's not like we'll be totally out of touch. With Skype and the video camera, you'll even be able to see the babies growing, just like if you were here.”

Her words were a mixture of trying to convince and comfort him as well as reassuring herself.

“Of course we'll be alright. We have to be. I couldn't live without you. I feel like I'm dying inside just thinking about having to leave you and the children. We'll just have to make this work not only for you and I but also so the children don't feel that I've abandoned them.”

“Oh Seb, they understand that you're going for work and not leaving them because you want to, at least the older ones. And as I said, you'll get to talk to them. So the babies will still hear your voice and you can sing to them like you always do. They all love that so much.”

Lisa caught a tear that rolled down the side of his face.

“I love you Seb. We're going to be fine. I'll be waiting right here for you when you can come home.”

“Je Taime, Ma Cherie.” He reached up and stroked her face.

He sat back up and pulled her against him and started with slow gentle kissed that very quickly became more passionate and desperate. He paused for just a second, then went over and shut and locked the conference room door before coming back to the sofa where Lisa was waiting for him.

He knelt on the floor in front of her, looking intently into her eyes. He touched his fingertips to her cheeks, just barely making contact as if she was some breakable object that he was afraid to touch. Then he laid his hands flat on her face and ran them across her cheeks and back into her hair, his fingers entangling themselves in the long, thick strands. Then he quickly returned to the kisses that he'd begun before. He tasted her as if she was what he needed to stay alive.

She returned his kisses with as much passion and fire as he was giving and in just a few seconds they were naked on the floor on the thick carpet and making love like it was going to be their last time together, forever.

Very few words were spoken, except for their words of love spoken in the midst of their passion. Hands and mouths none too gently explored as they needed to fill a longing that neither felt that they were able to fill at this moment.

When Seb collapsed against her after they had both reached their completion, she held him tightly to her, afraid to let him go. Their loving was always fulfilling but not usually so filled with desperation. It thrilled and excited her but it also made her feel just how much she would miss his body joining with hers in the long months of their separation.

Slowly, their heartbeats returned to normal and they were becoming more aware of their surroundings.

“I guess we'd better get dressed and head back to the house before someone sends out a search party looking for us.” Seb said grinning, trying to inject some humor into the situation that felt anything but funny to either of them.

Lisa just nodded and stood up to retrieve her clothes that were spread around the floor. He reached out and grasped her hand, almost roughly at first then loosened his grip before he pulled her against his still naked body.

“I love you, Lisa. Please don't ever forget it.”

“I won't.” She said having to choke back a sob before she threw herself against him and the tears that she had tried so hard to withhold came flooding out no matter how hard she tried to stop them.

They stood there in the middle of the room, neither one of them with a stitch of clothing on just holding each other, letting their tears fall.

Lisa finally made herself gain control of herself and she backed away from him after placing a soft kiss on his lips. They dressed in silence and when they were finished and about to leave the room, Seb stopped her and laid a finger on her bottom lip.

“Does your lip hurt? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rough.”

“It doesn't hurt. It just tingles a lot.” She smiled at him. “It's alright, Seb.”

“They're going to know what we were doing in here.”

“Do you care?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Good, me neither.” she said and took his hand as they headed back to the house.

That night, Seb told Lisa that he would like to put the children to bed. So he began with Lauren, who was already getting sleepy. She was all clean and fresh from her bath and in her little nighty. He sat with her in the rocking chair in the nursery, singing to her. She laid her head on his shoulder and promptly fell asleep. He was in no hurry to put her down so he just kept rocking, enjoying the feel of her in his arms and the smell of her baby scent.

He finally stood to lay her in her bed, knowing the other children were waiting for him too. He cradled her in his arms and kissed her little cheek. She stirred just a bit, rolling her body closer to his chest. He gave her one last hug before he placed her on her side in her crib.

Lisa told him that Kayti was fading fast so he went into Kayti's room and he, Kayti and Holly piled onto Kayti's bed with Kayti all snuggled under her covers. Before he began playing and singing their bedtime songs, Seb pulled Kayti up into his lap and hugged her tightly.

“Papa is going to miss you very much. You try and be a good girl while I'm away.”

“Love you, Papa. Nighty night.” Kayti said. Really having no idea that when she woke in the morning, her Papa would be gone. He tucked her back in and starting playing their songs on his guitar.

It wasn't long before Kayti was asleep. He kept playing until he'd finished the song they were on then he and Holly moved into her room. Seb sat on the edge of her bed while she took off her robe and hung it on the little hook by her bed and then took her slippers off and slid them just under the edge of her bed where she could find them if she needed them in the night.

When she came to climb into bed, Seb reached out and stroked her hair.

“I love you and I will miss you.”

“I'll miss you too, Papa.”

He pulled her in for a hug and helped her to get tucked in before he played a couple more songs. When he laid down his guitar to kneel beside her bed and kiss her goodnight, she threw her arms around his neck.

“You will come home, won't you Papa?”

“As soon as I can, Baby. Just as soon as I can. But you will all be able to talk to me all the time. And you can practice your typing on the computer. I would love to get letters from you while I'm away. You can tell me all about the things you're doing in school and you can tell me if the three big boys bother you.”

This made her giggle, because she was always having to come and tell someone that the boys were bothering her.

“Okay Papa. I will. I love you.”

“I love you too, very much Sweetheart. Bonne Nuit.”

“Night, Papa.”

He sat beside her until she had drifted off to sleep, her hand still resting in his. He raised it to his lips and kissed the back of it. Then he took his guitar and headed for Sammy's room.

The boys weren't quite as sleepy as the girls but, Jeremy did need to get to sleep soon. He and Holly had school in the morning. Sammy pulled out his memory card game and asked Seb if they could play just one game before they went to sleep.

“Okay, just one game. Then it's bedtime.”

Lisa walked by the bedroom and found her three boys lying flat on their stomachs on the floor with the cards all in the middle. She didn't disturb them, just watched them for a few moments before she and Jessica continued on to the bedroom so Lisa could feed her and have her ready for bed when Seb came in.

Seb let Sammy talk him into a second game and then when it was finished, he insisted that it was time to get settled into bed so Jeremy could get some sleep.

He could tell that Sammy was stalling. Sammy was usually very organised and was usually in bed waiting for his kiss and hug. Tonight, he was wandering around his room like he was looking for something.

“Sammy, You need to come and climb into bed now Son.”

“Just a minute Papa. I can't find it.”

“What can't you find, Buddy? Can't it wait till tomorrow?”

Sammy just started shaking his head no and then he began to cry.

In the past year, Sammy had matured so much and most of the time the little boy he'd met at the daycare was a distant memory. But right now Seb was seeing definite glimpses of that scared emotional little boy.

“I need to find it Papa. You will be gone tomorrow. So I can't wait.”

“Come here Son.”

Seb lifted him into his arms and let him cry against his shoulder.

“It's alright, Sammy. What are you looking for? Papa will help you find it.”

“I drew a picture for you to take with you so you won't forget me.”

Seb kneeled down on the floor and set Sammy on his feet and took his little boy's face in his hands.

“Sammy, do you really think that Papa could forget you? I couldn't forget any of you. I love you all so very much. You make me so happy.”

He hugged Sammy tightly, just short of squishing him.

“I love you, Son.” he said again.

“I love you too Papa and I miss you when you go to work.”

“I miss you too. But like I told Holly, you will all get to talk to me on the phone and the computer and you can tell me everything just like if I was right here in the room. Okay?” The only thing we won't be able to do is our hugs and you can save all those up and give them to me when I come home. I will be needing them when I come back.”

“Okay Papa. I will count them all every day and then I will know how many hugs I need to give you when you come home again.”

“And you know what else? You can all give Mommy lots of extra hugs and kisses since I won't be here to give her any. Okay?”

“Okay Papa. That will be my special job. I'll give Mommy lots and lots of hugs and kisses.”

“That would be great, Buddy.”

The three of them went downstairs and just as Seb figured, they found Sammy's drawing in the arts and crafts room.

“That is a wonderful picture Sammy. I will put it in my suitcase.” Seb said as he smiled at the well drawn picture of a man and a boy walking hand in hand outside amongst the forest, just like they frequently did.

Now, climb into bed and I'll tuck you in.” Seb said when they'd gone back upstairs and after one last squeeze.

Bob still slept in Sammy's bed with him every night but most nights he didn't hold him as tightly as he used to. Seb noticed that tonight, Bob was held securely in Sammy's arms.

Seb guided Jeremy out of Sammy's room and they went into Jeremy's room and sat on the edge of his bed.

“Is there anything you want to talk to me about before I leave? You will still be able to talk to me but if there is anything now, I'll listen.” Seb said with his arm around his son.

“No Papa. I just wish you didn't have to go to work so far away.”

“I know Buddy. Me too. I will miss you very much. I love you Son. You'll help Mama with the little ones, won't you?”

“Yes, Papa. I promise.”

“I knew you would. You're a good boy Jeremy. I am very proud of you.”

Jeremy smiled at Seb's praise. It only made him want to be a better boy when he knew how happy he made Papa and Mama when he was good.

“You'd better get some sleep or you'll be tired in school tomorrow.”

They both stood up and Seb hugged the boy and kissed the top of his head.

Jeremy slid under the covers and Seb straightened them. He stroked Jeremy's head and smiled down at him before he turned to leave the room.

“Papa?”

“Yes, Son?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jeremy. Very much. I'll be home as soon as I can.”

Seb stopped just outside Jeremy's door after he'd shut it and leaned against the wall, feeling exhauseted from all of the emotions flooding through him.

He felt so happy and blessed to have such a wonderful family and that only made it so much harder to leave them.